'Bullying'

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Deleted member 34656

Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
 


johnnypockets

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Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
....what?
 

tigerben

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I think our parents didn't worry about us half as much and we are all better for it. Now every thing is over analysed , and kids aren't allowed sort things out themselves.
 

GDPR

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Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
Was his name Enda?
 

Kai123

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Please elaborate!

Its very anecdotal as well. What comments were said?
 
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Possible individual has lots of personal issues that actualise them in his personal comments to contemporaries. Could be because of a complete unsecure home environment where kid is unloved and only knows that way to get attention.

or

Alternatively kid is a little **** that needs taken out behind a bicycle shed and have **** kicked out of them and told change attitude quickly or will happen again.
 

Dearghoul

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Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
Manipulative behaviour, the little barstewartdt. He'll de up for FF in 2031
 

Jezza

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Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
Sounds like the spawn of a SF mopie in the makimg. Tell the little ************************ to ************************ off.
 

Alan Alda

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Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
Or possibly you are the bully?
 

alloverbartheshouting

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Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
You wrote this après-pub, right?
 

jcdf

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Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
Your synopsis is a little too brief and additionally it is written poorly. I could not follow much of it.
 

Deep Blue

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I think our parents didn't worry about us half as much and we are all better for it. Now every thing is over analysed , and kids aren't allowed sort things out themselves.
Good point.

Kids have very intense friendships, then suddenly fall out, then make up again.
It's part of growing up, getting to know people and becoming a person yourself.

Parents can intervene too soon in minor scrapes and it becomes a feud.
Didn't one of the famous Limerick feuds begin over a pencil-case in school or something?

Granted, there are serious cases where parents should intervene, and advise their own child, but often parents accept their child's version too unquestioningly, leaping in to defend them when it's something and nothing.

Adults can look very silly when the kids make it up next week; if your child is really being bullied by a group help him/her to expand their horizons and get the confidence to make new friends..
 

twokidsmanybruises

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Some veiled metaphor for Irish / EU politics?

Or just drunk?

Please elaborate.
 

petaljam

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Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
This is presented in a totally subjective fashion. It feels like a complete caricature, presented by someone who had made up his mind from the start.

Or else it's some sort of metaphor for Ireland or Irish society? Possible.
 

horseman0000

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Good point.

Kids have very intense friendships, then suddenly fall out, then make up again.
It's part of growing up, getting to know people and becoming a person yourself.

Parents can intervene too soon in minor scrapes and it becomes a feud.
Didn't one of the famous Limerick feuds begin over a pencil-case in school or something?

Granted, there are serious cases where parents should intervene, and advise their own child, but often parents accept their child's version too unquestioningly, leaping in to defend them when it's something and nothing.

Adults can look very silly when the kids make it up next week; if your child is really being bullied by a group help him/her to expand their horizons and get the confidence to make new friends..
I remember a good few years ago in the area where I live, two Fathers got into a argument over two kids fighting and one Father stabbed the other to death. It was noted that on the morning of the funeral that the two children were seeing playing together. SAD.
 

Socratus O' Pericles

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Is this about Charlie Mc Creevy, Angela Merkel and the Commission?
 

GJG

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Brief as possible synopsis:

New kid at school, invited over to various homes after school etc., quickly wears out welcome via his nasty comments to others about their friends, then claims victim. Whinger becomes hard work for all. Complains to authority figures about being ‘bullied’, all must change behaviour to accommodate ‘feelings’ of new kid. Many years later, ‘new kid’ is still playing the same game.

I believe that bullying happens. But is this kid playing the victim too much? Is it a vicious coycle? Or is this kid doomed to be an outsider forever because he jointed late?

Or possibly he’s the bully?
This is the key sentence. Stop doing the work. You don't say how old, but it's fair to say that the kid missed out on a maturing stage with being moved around, and is being left behind in terms of emotional development. Complaining to authority is part seeking their company and part seeking to have the other kids ordered to accept him, both inappropriate reactions.

Kids respond to motivation. You should give absolutely zero feedback when he seeks to involve authority figures - no reward, no punishment, no interaction at all. Just say something dismissive like 'I don't have time for that', without making eye contact, don't make or listen to any further comment,

At different times (so as not to be seen to as a reward for complaining) suggest small things he can do, age appropriate, for other kids his age. This will depend on how isolated he is from classmates and his age, but something like making a birthday card for a classmate. Don't make this an activity with an adult, leave him alone to do it. Tell him about the goal if appropriate, but don't harp on it.

When he makes an effort, praise him effusively, but not at any other time. Tell him that if he keeps making an effort it will work out, that it won't work every time he makes an effort, but it will work for sure if he keeps making an effort. Make it clear that the only route to adult approval or even attention is effort in the appropriate direction.

Brief other adults around - teachers, uncles, aunts and so on - on your strategy and ask them to follow it too.

My two cents.
 
D

Deleted member 34656

Or possibly you are the bully?
I am the judge and see this type of situation all the time. A is aggressor and V is victim.

In normal play A aggresses and V tells A to go fook himself. End of problem.

In this play A aggresses and V curls into a ball and cries for help.

I find that A has tended to bullying behaviour. I know what to do with him. But I think that V has the more serious personality problem which he shows no signs of correcting. What do I do with V?
 

pippakin

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Its the tyranny of the weak we see it here all the time...:evil:
 


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