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But I have No Daddy, teacher.


The Owl

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Sep 11, 2011
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As a lot of you are probably aware I have two grandsons, but their father disappeared when the youngest fellow was not even born so he has never known him.

My heart broke last week when I was helping him with his home-work. Part of that home-work was a composition (I think they call them essays now) on "A day out with my Daddy". Little Johnny started to cry because he has no daddy.

I dried the tears, explained that thousands of little boys have no daddies, and we could make up a daddy that he would like, which he did. After he left I was the one crying.

Now the point of this thread is to say why the hell are some teachers so bloody thick that it would not occur to them in this day and age that daddies are short on the ground, so to speak. I rang the school and spoke with the Head Master and asked if perhaps it would be kinder to not generalise in this fashion, considering the social scene has altered so much, apart from the obvious that some children's dads are dead. Mine died when I was 7.

The Head-Master was very understanding and promised to speak with his staff, but it raises the question, does it not, that a primary school teacher would be so .....unknowing.... as to the realities of life for so many of their charges.

It's all very sad at times, this life, for the little ones, isn't it? Poor little lambs.
 


willow68

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Feb 8, 2012
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Poor little darling, but doesn't he have a wise and wonderful nan. All the best to you all.
 

ruserious

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There's nothing really to add except to highlight the stupidity of the teacher.
 

Watcher2

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May 2, 2010
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As a lot of you are probably aware I have two grandsons, but their father disappeared when the youngest fellow was not even born so he has never known him.

My heart broke last week when I was helping him with his home-work. Part of that home-work was a composition (I think they call them essays now) on "A day out with my Daddy". Little Johnny started to cry because he has no daddy.

I dried the tears, explained that thousands of little boys have no daddies, and we could make up a daddy that he would like, which he did. After he left I was the one crying.

Now the point of this thread is to say why the hell are some teachers so bloody thick that it would not occur to them in this day and age that daddies are short on the ground, so to speak. I rang the school and spoke with the Head Master and asked if perhaps it would be kinder to not generalise in this fashion, considering the social scene has altered so much, apart from the obvious that some children's dads are dead. Mine died when I was 7.

The Head-Master was very understanding and promised to speak with his staff, but it raises the question, does it not, that a primary school teacher would be so .....unknowing.... as to the realities of life for so many of their charges.

It's all very sad at times, this life, for the little ones, isn't it? Poor little lambs.
Thats a very sad story and I think you handled it very well for the little 'un. Well done to you.

But its very difficult for people like teachers I suppose to take every single eventuality into consideration.
 

mr. jings

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Mar 31, 2008
Messages
8,091
As a lot of you are probably aware I have two grandsons, but their father disappeared when the youngest fellow was not even born so he has never known him.

My heart broke last week when I was helping him with his home-work. Part of that home-work was a composition (I think they call them essays now) on "A day out with my Daddy". Little Johnny started to cry because he has no daddy.

I dried the tears, explained that thousands of little boys have no daddies, and we could make up a daddy that he would like, which he did. After he left I was the one crying.

Now the point of this thread is to say why the hell are some teachers so bloody thick that it would not occur to them in this day and age that daddies are short on the ground, so to speak. I rang the school and spoke with the Head Master and asked if perhaps it would be kinder to not generalise in this fashion, considering the social scene has altered so much, apart from the obvious that some children's dads are dead. Mine died when I was 7.

The Head-Master was very understanding and promised to speak with his staff, but it raises the question, does it not, that a primary school teacher would be so .....unknowing.... as to the realities of life for so many of their charges.

It's all very sad at times, this life, for the little ones, isn't it? Poor little lambs.
+1. At the very least, teachers should be up to speed with even a basic knowledge of their kids' family setups. Bereavement, separations, divorce etc can be huge factors in a child's life, and turn even a seemingly relatively harmless question/assignment into an emotional bombshell.
 

Happytolearn

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Aug 23, 2011
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No excuse for such short sightedness. Poor little fella - is it ok that I resent his daddy?
 

The Owl

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Maybe your ire should be directed at the absentee fathers!
If I could find the bastard it would be more than my ire he would get. But you are missing the point entirely. As per.
 

ShoutingIsLeadership

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Jan 17, 2011
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I must say, while I sympathise with the sentiment, it must remain the duty of the parent (remaining) to explain the situation to the child as best as possible.

As you have yourself described, a simple chat with the child left him in a happier state. I know that can't have been an easy chat, but that is a chat the child's parent must first have with the child, not a teacher. I add the caveat that I would not expect a mother to have this conversation with a child before he/she was about 7 years old. Given that the homework was an essay of sorts, I am guessing your grandchild had reached that age.

Having said all that, the teacher has a role in this situation, and should have made the homework about 'your daddy or someone else special to you', and then taken the opportunity to explain to the class as a whole that there are all sorts of shapes and sizes of families.

Sorry to challenge what you said, as I am very sympathetic and think you handled the situation with the boy very well.
 

ruserious

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I think before I write! You should try it yourself. There are more children abandoned by their fathers than orphaned ones.
Even if that were true (source?) that does not make it ok to come out with a statement like you did.
 

SayItAintSo

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Sep 30, 2011
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The poor pet, it'd break your heart. What an insensitive fool that teacher is. I think you handled the situation with him beautifully. He's lucky he is to have a granny like you :)

Hope the principal gave that teacher a roasting.
 

The Owl

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Sep 11, 2011
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No excuse for such short sightedness. Poor little fella - is it ok that I resent his daddy?
Resent away my love. But it's his loss in the end. Two beautiful boys that would make anyone proud. I'm very lucky to have them. They bring me great joy.
 

collina

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Oct 8, 2006
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Maybe your ire should be directed at the absentee fathers!
The post said "disappeared"

Had the subject been the mother, I'm not sure you would have used the expression "absentee".

Come to think of it, apart from landlords in the 1800's, the only other group you hear "absentee" being attached to is fathers. Women generally "vanish". Strange that.
 
Last edited:

Happytolearn

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Aug 23, 2011
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Resent away my love. But it's his loss in the end. Two beautiful boys that would make anyone proud. I'm very lucky to have them. They bring me great joy.
I wish you were my nana :)
 

EUrJokingMeRight

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Sep 28, 2009
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I think before I write! You should try it yourself. There are more children abandoned by their fathers than orphaned ones.
Correction; There are more 'women' abandoned by their partners, for many complex reasons. Of course the women are all angels :roll:
 

Keith-M

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Jul 24, 2007
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www.allkindsofeverything.ie
Maybe your ire should be directed at the absentee fathers!

Exactly are we now to downgrade our whole educational syllabus to the lowest common denominator? The role of a father should be key in every child's upbringing and writing the father's role out of the equation, to facilitate a minority, would be a disgrace.
 

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