Cosc campaign - justifying having no male victims in ads

belvoboy

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(I meant to post this a few weeks ago but was busy with work. It's not that exciting but I wanted to get it off my chest)

Earlier in the year, Cosc were running a campaign about domestic violence. It was talking about belittling words and emotional and verbal abuse. I mentioned on another forum that it occured to me that that would have been an opportunity to highlight the problem of men suffering domestic abuse as there was a collection of different radio ads. Each ad at one stage let the listener know it was a woman that was the victim. A woman agreed with me and suggested I follow it up which I did with a quick E-mail.

I pointed out that there is a major problem with men underreporting the problem (a much smaller percentage than females) and could they not explicitly have a male "victim" (not exact word).

I'm appending the reply. I find it a bit frustrating:
"Cosc’s current campaign was developed on the basis of research which shows
that in Ireland that domestic violence does not affect men and women
equally. Research shows us that women suffer greater harm and fear than men
as a result of domestic violence. These facts are reflected in the
campaign."


I don't see just because more women may suffer from a problem that one shouldn't point out to an ignorant general population that men can be victims.
I'm not sure that principle would be acccepted in many other areas especially in the "equality" area.

The level of harm and fear could be for debated.
A man knows if he leaves (i) there are no refuges for him to go to; (ii) he may subsequently have little or no access to his children if they never get back together (iii) he may have to pay his partner a lot of money but not get to live in the dwelling, live with his children, etc so could sit it out (iv) feel more nervous about approaching a body for fear he will not get good support or may even get accused of abuse as I believe has happened. If not by the Gardai/others initially, by his partner later.

-------------
Thank you for your e-mail regarding our current awareness campaign 'Your
Silence Feeds the Violence'.

Cosc recognises that domestic abuse and sexual abuse are issues which
tragically have male and female victims and perpetrators. We are actively
trying to change attitudes to domestic and sexual abuse. We are working
with groups supporting male and female victims to prevent these crimes and
to ensure that all victims regardless of gender get the best possible
response.

This campaign takes a broad approach to the issue of domestic violence. It
includes outdoor and online advertising that covers domestic violence
against both men and women. The campaign also touches on the impact on
children and older people. Our current campaign on domestic abuse is the
first time that the issue of male victims has been included in a government
campaign.

Cosc’s current campaign was developed on the basis of research which shows
that in Ireland that domestic violence does not affect men and women
equally. Research shows us that women suffer greater harm and fear than men
as a result of domestic violence. These facts are reflected in the
campaign.

The campaign headline is 'Your Silence Feeds the Violence’. The purpose of
the campaign is to highlight the issue and to encourage people to consider
how they might help someone (of either gender) they know. This is very
clearly captured in the call to action which states 'If someone you know is
a victim of domestic violence find out how to help at cosc.ie'. There is
information on our website for both male and female victims of domestic
violence.

Cosc is clear that its remit includes both male and female victims of
domestic violence and this is taken into account in all areas of our work.
We appreciate you contacting us and assure you that all victims are a
concern to Cosc. This will be reflected on the National Strategy which will
be submitted to Government in the coming months.
 
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Thac0man

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twit taa woo
I seem to remember a simluar response form the Rape Crises Centre regarding their ignoring of the problem of male/male rape. There is perhaps a case to made that such institutions, recieveing state funding, should be run by professionals, not activitists with a single gender agenda.
 

Defeated Romanticist

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Get the equality authority after them. That should be an entertaining fight. Who do you think is the biggest victim?
 

Factorem

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It's the remnants of the feminist era.

Basically, it's social engineering masquerading as "womens' welfare".
 

sickpuppy

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you should read the book "a man in a womans world" , the author was on the board of a rape crisis center ( in waterford I think) - he praises the work that they did but he got so sick of the constant men bashing he left.
 

Tiernanator

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I seem to remember a simluar response form the Rape Crises Centre regarding their ignoring of the problem of male/male rape. There is perhaps a case to made that such institutions, recieveing state funding, should be run by professionals, not activitists with a single gender agenda.

I agree and for everyone's information there is an excellent UK based organisation called SurvivorsUK for male victims of rape and sexual abuse. Ireland needs it's own Survivors organisation.
 

Mazzy Maz

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Some of their campaign posters feature male victims. I've seen them at bus stops.
 

constitutionus

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It's the remnants of the feminist era.

Basically, it's social engineering masquerading as "womens' welfare".
yup.

ironcially its left most of these people some of the most sexist biggoted individuals in the country.

case in point the ex party barring order. when it was shot down by the supreme court for being unconstitutiona, generally meaning for over a decade men had their rights violated on a daily basis, joan burtons first line of comment was along the lines of "this is terrible, how can we get this back to protect poor women !"

completly missing the shagging point.

there are people in this country that think men DONT get raped, never mind account for over 40% (and THATS the official figures, how many men in reality would actually report this?) and TBH half the feckers in charge seem to have some kind of guilt complex going on and thats how we end up in a country when a woman is actually DONE for raping her son she gets less time than a drink driver would

in regards to the OP its complete bollocks to say women are more in danger than men as studies have show BOTH sides being more exposed to it depending on the criteria. i vividly remember one showing men were more likely to be the victims of women and their propensity to use weaponry during the assault that was met with stark disbelief by the powers that be.

put simply its just more of the PC , dont bother your arse checking the facts, sterotyping that ive come to expect from our leaders from the "women are saints, men are bastards - dont you know that?" school of thought.

DONT expect it to change anytime soon.
 

Andrew49

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Fighting the Myths

From AMEN: AMEN

AMEN is a voluntary group, founded by Mary Cleary in December 1997, which provides a confidential helpline, a support service and information for male victims of domestic abuse. Thousands of men and supportive members of their families have contacted the helpline since it was set up.

Callers to AMEN come from all walks of life.

AMEN has encountered denial of the existence and the experiences of male victims.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The vast majority of recorded incidents of domestic violence are of men on women. Society, although aware of the male victim, treats him as a joke. In reality he is a man in fear, a man in isolation, a man stigmatised as weak. Why? Because he does not conform to the stereotypical male image.

In law, a male victim faces two obstacles; firstly to prove he is a victim, and secondly, to ensure that his children are protected and do not become the new victims. Men very often remain in an abusive relationship for the sake and protection of their children. Most men react by staying silent. Often this silence is encouraged by factors such as fear of ridicule and, the realisation that it is unlikely his partner will be evicted. Even when a man has proved he is the victim it seems his only course of action is to leave the home. He is then separated from his children and often experiences difficulty in obtaining realistic and regular contact with them. He is in fact treated as the perpetrator rather than the victim.

Modern medicine is aware of certain conditions which may cause people to be violent but we expect such sufferers to seek help or medical treatment. Men are expected to take responsibility for violence and abuse but no excuses are accepted. Yet when a female is violent society provides a list of excuses: Post-natal depression, stress, PMT, eating disorders, personality disorders, menopause, addictions, childhood traumas, provocation, self-defence etc. Although most men will be sensitive to these problems, they should not have to suffer violence as a consequence. When a woman is violent and abusive in a relationship, it is not necessarily assumed that she is a bad mother. If a man is violent towards his partner, it is automatically assumed that he is an unfit parent.

The law presumes that the children are almost always better off with their mother. Consequently the only options for men seem to be to put up with the abuse or to leave the home, since under the law there is no real protection for them. If a male victim seeks help, society should offer the same protection and help to him and his children as is given to female victims. Women should be judged by the same standards as men, and women who are violent should be held legally responsible for their actions.

- - - - - - - -

I think social justice demands equal treatment but it's a fact that women have been under the male cosh for millennium.
 

Conor

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there are people in this country that think men DONT get raped, never mind account for over 40% (and THATS the official figures, how many men in reality would actually report this?)
Do you have a link for that?
 

White Horse

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My sister is a nurse working in a local A&E department.

She has left me in no doubt as to the large numbers of male victims of domestic violence.
 

MuchToDo

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Male or female, the thing that should be focussed on above all in Ireland as regards domestic violence is alcohol abuse. Surely it accounts for the majority of the problem in either case? Even those who don't engage in alcohol-fuelled violence are in complete denial about what constitutes an acceptable level of drinking and intoxication as a result thereof.

I am in some agreement with the original poster in drawing attention to the use of the usual male/female situation in this campaign. One would think that at the least, it would not detract from the main message, and would greatly increase awareness of the very difficult situation men in the reverse situation find themselves in, if a proportionate part of the campaign had the opposite situation. Besides, even if it is a small part of the overall domestic violence situation, one doesn't need a great imagination to know the kind of scene we are talking about - it certainly does exist. If you look at the state of things at say secondary school level today - it looks like it will be a much bigger problem in the future. Focus on "girl power" rather than real overcoming of the gender barrier?

Anyway, increasing awareness is a worthy thing, but I would suggest that the easiest way to decrease domestic violence, before even you look at how attitudes are formed and children raised, is to take the fuel away by clamping down bigtime on alcohol. Not prohibition or something, just make advertising extremely restricted, encourage other recreational activities (i.e. support them with cold hard cash), increase policing so public order offences are actually caught (most goes on unimpaired at present) and there are more serious consequences to people getting out of their heads drunk.
 

constitutionus

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Do you have a link for that?
heard it on a newstalk interview a few months back. i want to say the woman was from the rape crisis centre but i couldnt be sure.

the figures should be out there but i cant download PDFs on this feckgin antique in work so cant link you to the actual report.

theres been a huge increase in reporting from men. used to be just around 10% not that long ago.

as with all victims of this though virtually NONE of em go to the gardai.

theres a culture of denial out there that men are victims of women, or that they CAN be victims women, and it starkly shows up in how many women actually go down for murdering them.

look at the example of women that HAVE been done for it and your looking at some EXTREME cases in terms of the crime. the scissor sisters who hacked a guy up. that nutter that strapped a guy to a chair, stabbed him and poured boiling water over him as he bled to death (and she near got off ). even the black widow only went down cause she PAID someone to kill her husband. if she did the deed herself and pleaded self defence due to abuse she'dve got off.

just like the comerford case wherein that excuse was used, despite the fact the man was ASLEEP when she stabbed him to death. how in the name of god that wasnt manslaughter at least is beyond me.

this is the country you live in lads, be afraid.
 
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Andrew49

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This behaviour is the abuser's choice - it has little to do with alcohol. Most instances of domestic abuse occurs behind closed doors.

Does the abuser assault people in the public eye? I don't think so because this kind of abuse is done by cowardly individuals.

They like to dominate
They like to humiliate
The try to isolate the victim
They use threats
They intimidate
They use denial and the blame game

They have NO excuses
 

Andrew49

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constitutionus wrote:
theres been a huge increase in reporting from men. used to be just around 10% not that long ago.
And when you consider how many men are into politics and social issues it's telling that this very issue [males do suffer domestic abuse as well] is only slowly seeping into the general consciousness!
 

constitutionus

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constitutionus wrote:


And when you consider how many men are into politics and social issues it's telling that this very issue [males do suffer domestic abuse as well] is only slowly seeping into the general consciousness!
thats the scariest thing of all andy.

theres a perception out there that all blokes are taken care of because men make up the majority of the dail.

a cursory look at whats gone on to a third of em when faced with the family law courts dispels that myth. its incredible to think a bloke STILL doenst have a legal right to access to his own flesh and blood, in fact NO right at all if he's not married, yet there we are.

im actually of the opinion now that in certain circumstance being a bloke is a liability
 

belvoboy

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just like the comerford case wherein that excuse was used, despite the fact the man was ASLEEP when she stabbed him to death. how in the name of god that wasnt manslaughter at least is beyond me.
I'm only an amateur but remember that case well. There are at least three aspects about it that seem noteworthy:

(i) the feminists/representatives of one or more women's groups protesting outside the courts that the woman should be not be punished. A very strange case to be championing. Shows the bias of at least some in the movement in my mind.

(ii) the jury's verdict: they were given the choice between murder or manslaughter - those were the choices. Manslaughter doesn't have to equal jail - people can get suspended sentences for that (perhaps particularly women when men die it seems) and yet they wouldn't stick to the rules.

(iii) the fact that the DPP didn't put it back for re-trial.

Another one that comes to mind is that there was no "public fuss" (that I recall) about there not being a re-trial. I suppose that relates to point (iii): the DPP doesn't necessarily operate in a vacuum - decisions (I imagine) can be partly based on views expressed by influential pressure groups, coverage in the media, interest from politicians, general public opinion, etc.
 

iartaoiseach

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This behaviour is the abuser's choice - it has little to do with alcohol. Most instances of domestic abuse occurs behind closed doors.

Does the abuser assault people in the public eye? I don't think so because this kind of abuse is done by cowardly individuals.

They like to dominate
They like to humiliate
The try to isolate the victim
They use threats
They intimidate
They use denial and the blame game

They have NO excuses
absolutley correct. too much violent behaviour-domestic or otherwise- in this country is blamed on drink or drugs. it also is accepted by the courts as a mitigating factor. and we wonder why violent attacks are on the increase. alcohol or drugs are objects they do nothing until some scumbag imbibes them and decides to use them as an excuse to behave worse than an animal. people should be held responsible for their own actions including the decision to get out of their tiny minds to such an extent that they commit these acts. I think that any person who uses the drink/drugs excuse for an assault on another should have an extra bit tacked onto their sentence. We are far too sympathetic to this guff as a nation.
 


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