Global Deities Under Pressure: City Analysts downgrade Jesus Inc, Yahweh Limited and Allah Plc

Lumpy Talbot

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Just listening to the BBC Radio News there on this beautifully sunlit godless morning... news announcer burbling that after 3 months of no baptism, funerals, weddings in churches guidelines and restrictions from the civil and very secular authorities to the various deities and their followers around the island next door to ours is that there should only be one route into religious buildings and one route out- one would have thought that was fairly obvious to the guest of honour at any funeral if they are thinking about much at all there in the box.

Further guidance says that there should be 'no kissing of devotional objects or sharing of common facilities' (I suspect the latter means water fonts).

I suppose in reflecting on the chilling effect in the god-markets of these restrictions we can also reflect on the fact that the churches have been empty, many a little bawling heathen has had to proceed as noisily as usual while not being under the protection of one or other of the FMCG-Religion sector's corporates.

Long term analytical comment may be expected around alternative forms of hedging against global pandemics as consumers in the main seemed to sign up to Netflix rather than the online church, mosque, synagogue.

Many analysts are leaning on the negative side, few 'hold' recommendations across the god sector in general, footfall and volume issues expected and the city appears to favour a slight 'sell' overall on frantic desert nuttery as a solution to global issues.

Next week we cover the 'buy' side recommendations.

Edit: If any of the mods feel this should be in 'Economics' or 'Finance' I'm more than happy to acquiesce in that view.
 


Lumpy Talbot

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In the local spiritual sector of the Irish economy we may see further changes in consumer behaviour as consumers can't help noticing that new babbeh is no more or less noisy for the want of a baptism than the older toddler who was baptised and at the moment is attempting to give his little sister a new hairstyle with Dadda's hammer.

For people who don't really want to baptise chislers but felt pressure to do so because of that irritating old fart of an aunt whose only relevance in the family these days is to annoy people with her bullying etc... the Covid-19 crisis provides the ideal excuse not to have a witchdoctor pour water from a common basin over New Babbeh's head with about a dozen potentially interesting viruses in it.

Good news for the wriggly small boy end of the market- much easier now to avoid messy kisses from old dames in the fambly as you can pull a gun on them and tell them to get back two metres.

'One metre is good enough, Nan. Two metres earns you the safety switch being put back. Capisce?'
 

fat finger

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Some markets only exist because buyers and sellers have been turning up so long they don't know any different, they wake up, dress, go to market, it's what they've always done, they'll be doing it again tomorrow, and the day after that too, on and on.
But Jesus is different. Jesus says, stop worrying about the markets, come with me and I will give you Life. That message was good enough for the Apostles, good enough for His thousands of disciples, who left their fishing and their daily toil to hear His message and follow His vision for rebuilding Israel, and millions more have made that choice in the years since then, billions more will make it in the years to come. So never mind the markets, never mind the buyers and the sellers, prices will go up, and they will go down, but Jesus will never go down, He only ever goes up, taking us with Him, raising our spirits, renewing our life, reminding us to look at the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns
 
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galteeman

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check out the nodding heads on these guys!
freekin hilarious!
 

Lumpy Talbot

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I don't ... quite ... believe these people are doing anything other than projecting an image they want their neighbours to swallow.
 

galteeman

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yeah pure virtue signalling
 

Lumpy Talbot

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There is a known undercurrent in the US much discussed among atheist and secular groups of people living in certain societies, suburbia in the mid-west in particular, where there are a lot of people feeling as if they have to be seen to be a cheerleader for this horsesh*t, and who are secretly atheist. They just can't admit it because they are afraid of repercussions in their lives. Could be an employer, colleagues, sports club people running kids clubs etc...

Pretty dangerous being an atheist publicly in the mid-west, some parts of Texas. Carolinas. Pennsylvania..
 

fat finger

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There is a known undercurrent in the US much discussed among atheist and secular groups of people living ...
Atheists muttering among themselves that people don't believe in God?? well I never
 
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Lumpy Talbot

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Atheists muttering among themselves that people don't believe in God?? well I never
Let me clarify for you as you seem to be responding to a point I didn't make. There is a low level of social intimidation in the mid-west in the US in places where it can actually affect your career, your home life, your kid's school if your ostensible jesus-freak neighbours find out you are an atheist.

If christians were experiencing this we'd be hearing about it constantly, all day every day.

Then again they do love a bit of martyrdom as we know. Also, the vast majority of those who stare unblinkingly at you while telling you about their faith in mr jesus are nothing but blatant liars.
 

Lumpy Talbot

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Worth bearing in mind here that the word 'fundamentalist' is an American invention, based on the issuing of a document called 'The Fundamentals' issued by xtian fundamentalists in the period in the States following the Scopes trial.

'Religious fundamentalism' as a concept was not born in the middle east or Asia but in the United States. The Fundamentals - Wikipedia
 

Lumpy Talbot

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Weird when you think the United States was the first country set up to be deliberately secular. What do you get now with the low-rent, intellectually poor manipulators of the US?

People like Donald Trump, who everyone including Donster knows is about as likely to be a xtian as the Chief Rabbi, holding up a bible for the cameras in order to corral the dumb.
 


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