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God only takes cash - Vatican Bank electronic payments frozen


FloatingVoterTralee

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Messages
997
Its reputation previously damaged by the Eighties "God's Banker" fraud, the Vatican Bank has now had its electronic payment capacity blocked by the Bank of Italy after failing to fully comply with EU standards on financial regulation. Anyone who's visited the Holy See will be familiar with the lengthy queues to see the Vatican Museums and post a souvenir card, so the requirement to pay by cash will prove a major hassle for tourists and officials alike.
 
G

Gimpanzee

They won't adhere to international money laundering norms. You can only laugh.
 

LamportsEdge

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 10, 2012
Messages
21,894
They need a NAMA. Call it the 'Religious Asset Management Agency' or RAMA for short. That'd cheer Legs Benedict up I'm sure.
 

ruserious

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Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
29,599
On the third day, interest will rise again.
 

SideysGhost

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
17,716
Here's an idea.

They've no army beyond a few Swiss guys with pikes.

Let's invade.

Ireland invades the Vatican, seizes all their ill-gotten gains, jails every feckin one of the paedo-enabling weirdo scumbags (well, the few that survive, regrettable casualties from the shelling don't you know, nothing we could do), shuts down this international criminal conspiracy, claims every penny the f***ers have as compensation for decades of industrial-scale ritual child rape of Irish citizens, pays off the State debts, tells the world they can f*** off if they think we're going to pay the bank debts to the same kind of scum we've just finally rid the world of, we go home and dare anybody to do or say a damn f***ing thing.

Most of the world will be quietly cheering us on, and the rest will be breathing a sigh of relief that we've finally done what nobody else was ever willing to do.

It's the only way for the ridiculous corrupt gombeen servile statelet that the failed southern pseudo-republic has become, to save whatever few tattered remnants remain of its self-respect and honour.

If we're going down and passing into history, let's do the planet some service - for once in our miserable existence - before we disappear.
 

seabhcan

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 3, 2007
Messages
14,327
Here's an idea.

They've no army beyond a few Swiss guys with pikes.

Let's invade.

Ireland invades the Vatican, seizes all their ill-gotten gains, jails every feckin one of the paedo-enabling weirdo scumbags (well, the few that survive, regrettable casualties from the shelling don't you know, nothing we could do), shuts down this international criminal conspiracy, claims every penny the f***ers have as compensation for decades of industrial-scale ritual child rape of Irish citizens, pays off the State debts, tells the world they can f*** off if they think we're going to pay the bank debts to the same kind of scum we've just finally rid the world of, we go home and dare anybody to do or say a damn f***ing thing.

Most of the world will be quietly cheering us on, and the rest will be breathing a sigh of relief that we've finally done what nobody else was ever willing to do.

It's the only way for the ridiculous corrupt gombeen servile statelet that the failed southern pseudo-republic has become, to save whatever few tattered remnants remain of its self-respect and honour.

If we're going down and passing into history, let's do the planet some service - for once in our miserable existence - before we disappear.
The mafia would come out in force to protect their 'associates'.
 

Analyzer

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 14, 2011
Messages
46,201
It is bad when the Italian state is not happy with your tax compliance, and thinks you need to clean your act up......
 

APettigrew92

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 4, 2011
Messages
2,684
Here's an idea.

They've no army beyond a few Swiss guys with pikes.

Let's invade.

Ireland invades the Vatican, seizes all their ill-gotten gains, jails every feckin one of the paedo-enabling weirdo scumbags (well, the few that survive, regrettable casualties from the shelling don't you know, nothing we could do), shuts down this international criminal conspiracy, claims every penny the f***ers have as compensation for decades of industrial-scale ritual child rape of Irish citizens, pays off the State debts, tells the world they can f*** off if they think we're going to pay the bank debts to the same kind of scum we've just finally rid the world of, we go home and dare anybody to do or say a damn f***ing thing.

Most of the world will be quietly cheering us on, and the rest will be breathing a sigh of relief that we've finally done what nobody else was ever willing to do.

It's the only way for the ridiculous corrupt gombeen servile statelet that the failed southern pseudo-republic has become, to save whatever few tattered remnants remain of its self-respect and honour.

If we're going down and passing into history, let's do the planet some service - for once in our miserable existence - before we disappear.
Just the one glaring problem with your otherwise 1000% probable goal there Sidey.

Vatican City - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"The military defence of the Vatican City is provided by Italy and its armed forces, given the fact that Vatican City is an enclave within the Italian Republic. Vatican City has no armed force of its own, the Swiss Guard being a corps responsible for the security of the Pope."
 

Asparagus

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 7, 2010
Messages
4,882
Here's an idea.

They've no army beyond a few Swiss guys with pikes.

Let's invade.

Ireland invades the Vatican, seizes all their ill-gotten gains, jails every feckin one of the paedo-enabling weirdo scumbags (well, the few that survive, regrettable casualties from the shelling don't you know, nothing we could do), shuts down this international criminal conspiracy, claims every penny the f***ers have as compensation for decades of industrial-scale ritual child rape of Irish citizens, pays off the State debts, tells the world they can f*** off if they think we're going to pay the bank debts to the same kind of scum we've just finally rid the world of, we go home and dare anybody to do or say a damn f***ing thing.

Most of the world will be quietly cheering us on, and the rest will be breathing a sigh of relief that we've finally done what nobody else was ever willing to do.

It's the only way for the ridiculous corrupt gombeen servile statelet that the failed southern pseudo-republic has become, to save whatever few tattered remnants remain of its self-respect and honour.

If we're going down and passing into history, let's do the planet some service - for once in our miserable existence - before we disappear.
Great plan except the lads with the pikes are better armed than our lads. Plus they don't all have diabetes and alcohol dependency issues like the boys in the curragh.
our best bet is to annoy a small but wealth country into declaring war on us.
 

ruserious

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
29,599
Cavan-yokels think Quinn is God. Maybe there is an opportunity for the Messiah in the Vatican bank! Can't be worse than Anglo eh??
 

SideysGhost

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
17,716
The mafia would come out in force to protect their 'associates'.
Cool so. The non-corrupt elements of the Italian State will be on our side against the corrupt and the mafia. Doubtless at this point the Croatians will get involved, and the Austrians will start squawking seeing as they are the primary money laundering nexus between the eastern mafias and the west.

It'll all quickly come out in the wash and we'll have done the world a big favour, but history will record we attacked them in the first place cos they were raping our children and all the revelations of corruption were a *cough* unforeseen side-effect.

Win-win all round. Well, unless yer a kiddly-fiddling money-laundering maFFioso scumbag.
 

dunno

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 29, 2009
Messages
1,285
Just the one glaring problem with your otherwise 1000% probable goal there Sidey.

Vatican City - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"The military defence of the Vatican City is provided by Italy and its armed forces, given the fact that Vatican City is an enclave within the Italian Republic. Vatican City has no armed force of its own, the Swiss Guard being a corps responsible for the security of the Pope."
Also the Swiss Guards have automatic weapons. The ceremonial gear is not the be all and end all of them.

Was the murder of Calvi detailed below ever resolved or solved:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Calvi
 

Nemesiscorporation

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2011
Messages
14,214
Its reputation previously damaged by the Eighties "God's Banker" fraud, the Vatican Bank has now had its electronic payment capacity blocked by the Bank of Italy after failing to fully comply with EU standards on financial regulation. Anyone who's visited the Holy See will be familiar with the lengthy queues to see the Vatican Museums and post a souvenir card, so the requirement to pay by cash will prove a major hassle for tourists and officials alike.
A few months back the Vatican Bank even failed to meet the standards set by JP Morgan, the bank that set up the credit default swaps so that Greece could scam its way into the Euro.
 
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