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If FF was a soccer team...


cleareyed

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Apr 14, 2004
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43
a. Would they win the world cup?
b. What politician would they buy on the transfer market?
c. What positions would the cabinet play?
d. any and all variations on the above.
 

TKwhiskers

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Jun 7, 2004
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cleareyed said:
a. Would they win the world cup?
b. What politician would they buy on the transfer market?
c. What positions would the cabinet play?
d. any and all variations on the above.

(a) yeah 3 times in a row!
(b) they would borrow some "PD players"
(c) i. Captain: Bertie Ahern,
ii Strikers: Biffo, Martin, Ahern & McDowell (on loan)
iii Midfield: Hanafin, O'Dea, Dempsey
iv Defenders: Coughlan, Roche, Cullen
v In Goal: Harney (on loan)
 

hiding behind a poster

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Mar 8, 2005
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ii Strikers: Biffo, Martin, Ahern & McDowell (on loan)
iii Midfield: Hanafin, O'Dea, Demplsey
iv Defenders: Coughlan, Roche, Cullen
v In Goal: Harney (on loan)
[/quote]




Surely after the amount of times they've wheeled O'Dea out to defend the indefensible on telly, he'd have to play at the back.....
 

Neutral

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Feb 17, 2005
Messages
42
Hanafin's their best goal keeper.

O'Dea's more of an attack dog.

Dempsey & Cullen would be at the back scoring own-goals.

Coughlan would be a solid, consistent performer in the mid-field.

Harney & McDowell would be on the side-line making all the real decisions as per usual.

They'd win because their opposition was so divided and the Greens insisted on playing the exact opposite direction as the blues and reds, and because Rory O'Hanlon was referee.

They'd need to buy some young players, maybe Brian Hayes?
 

rockofcashel

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Neutral said:
Hanafin's their best goal keeper.

O'Dea's more of an attack dog.

Dempsey & Cullen would be at the back scoring own-goals.

Coughlan would be a solid, consistent performer in the mid-field.

Harney & McDowell would be on the side-line making all the real decisions as per usual.

They'd win because their opposition was so divided and the Greens insisted on playing the exact opposite direction as the blues and reds, and because Rory O'Hanlon was referee.

They'd need to buy some young players, maybe Brian Hayes?
For what, to be a mascot ? face it neutral poor Brian couldn't make it in the big leagues when he had the chance.
 

Libero

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May 22, 2004
Messages
3,000
Manager: has to be Bertie - less Arsene Wenger, more Sam Allardyce. Would now have perfect excuse for wearing an anorak, cursing and chewing gum like a knacker.

Left Back: Seamus Brennan could be one of those short but speedy left-back in the style of Roberto Carlos or Ashley Cole. Alternatively, he may be left-back in the dressingroom after annoying the SIPTU ultras. Needs to improve his distribution skills.

Central Defence: Biffo Cowen. A resolute defender of all things Fianna Fáil. Intelligent reader of the game with knowledge of such things as the offside rule and party handbook. Could be the Tony Adams of the side, so long as he avoids hitting the bar.

Central Defence: Martin Mansergh. Import from the English game but has adapted well to conditions underfoot. Another intelligent player with good literacy and basic cogent argument skills, a rarity in the side. Often sent out to defend the indefensible.

Right-back: Martin Cullen. Having avoided a (free) transfer to minnow side PDFC, Cullen has proven has somehow held onto his place despite off-the-field antics and a reputation for extravagant spending.

Left-midfield: Noel Dempsey. Prone to solo runs and dropping deep when challenged. Not a great communicator but very evasive when necessary.

Centre-midfield: Mary Coughlan. Swears like Keano and has demonstrated ability to tackle the vulnerable. Great cutback ability and good at tracking back.

Centre-midfield: John O'Donoghue. Reknowned for his dragbacks and u-turns, O'Donoghue has zero tolerance for the opposition. Weaknesses include running out of breath and exasperation.

Right-midfield: position vacant after departure of famed right-winger Charlie McCreevy to FC Bruge.

Forward: Willie O'Dea. Despite some recent experience in Defence, O'Dea's best position remains as an attacker. No stranger to bylines, the Limerick man is an expert at playing the man and not the ball.

Forward: Michael McDowell. On loan from a smaller club, McDowell has a ferocious shot but doesn't like being shot at. Enjoys open goals. Bit of a headtheball.
 

jo9jo

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Mar 25, 2011
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..... They would be FC Barcelona... led by Lionel "messi(ah)" Martin.
 

SideysGhost

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..... They would be FC Barcelona... led by Lionel "messi(ah)" Martin.
You do realise thread necromancy...especially of a thread six years old is considered dreadfully poor netiquette, unless there's a good reason like a) new information coming into the public domain or b) providing a good reason to point and laugh at deluded FFers?

Oh wait. I guess you get away with this one on a technicality.
 

jo9jo

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Mar 25, 2011
Messages
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You do realise thread necromancy...especially of a thread six years old is considered dreadfully poor netiquette, unless there's a good reason like a) new information coming into the public domain or b) providing a good reason to point and laugh at deluded FFers?

Oh wait. I guess you get away with this one on a technicality.
The new members need to be motivated - a football metafor is always good as everyone relates to it.
 

vanla sighs

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Sep 1, 2009
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If FF were a football team they'd have been expelled from the league for match fixing.
 

Analyzer

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Feb 14, 2011
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....how about the similarities to

the FAI....

Phrases like "Pissups, 'not able to organize' and brewery" point in the direction the term that comes to find.
 
Last edited:

flavirostris

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Dec 21, 2007
Messages
25,031
If FF were a football team playing in the world cup finals, they would start each match by burying the ball in the back of their own net 15 times before handing over management of the team to the IMF
 

statsman

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Feb 25, 2011
Messages
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Relegated at the end of last season.
 
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