• It has come to our attention that some users may have been "banned" when they tried to change their passwords after the site was hacked due to a glitch in the old vBulletin software. This would have occurred around the end of February and does not apply after the site was converted to Xenforo. If you believe you were affected by this, please contact a staff member or use the Contact us link at the bottom of any forum page.

Marriage Counseling. Did It Work For You?


rant_and_rave

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 7, 2009
Messages
3,105
Have you had relationship problems? Did marriage counseling save your marriage or did it make it worse?

There are now around 200,000 divorced people in this country - Increase in number of divorced people - Census - RT News

That's a massive increase of 22.3% over last five years. This would indicate that marriage counseling is not very effective. In fact there are those who think marriage counseling does more harm than good.

Till talk us do part - theage.com.au
Marriage counselling makes people think their relationship is over - Telegraph

What do you think?
 

Marcos the black

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2009
Messages
18,708
She tells me it did and that we're very happy..
 

Rural

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2007
Messages
27,927
I'm not being smug, but we didn't need it - yes there have been rocky roads - but we used to hire a babysitter, go to a really quiet corner in a pub and chat, talking is good.

Now, a different story would have been, a third party involved, that would have ended it and no amount of counselling would have worked.
 

ShoutingIsLeadership

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2011
Messages
50,459
I'm not being smug, but we didn't need it - yes there have been rocky roads - but we used to hire a babysitter, go to a really quiet corner.....
I thought you were going to reveal a wholly inappropriate secret to a good marriage there, Rural :)
 

Mr. Bumble

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2010
Messages
18,254

truthisfree

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
6,252
I'm not being smug, but we didn't need it - yes there have been rocky roads - but we used to hire a babysitter, go to a really quiet corner in a pub and chat, talking is good.

Now, a different story would have been, a third party involved, that would have ended it and no amount of counselling would have worked.
You got it in one there, by the time a third person is needed to communicate....well... not good.
 

truthisfree

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
6,252
Edit: There is a really good book on relationships and how we have changed our habits as regards partners etc called Sex at Dawn I could not leave it down when I started reading it.
 

Limerick Lad

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2006
Messages
4,609
One interesting statistic from the census relating to marital status is that there are a lot more separated or divorced women than men, one would have thought that the numbers have been fairly similar, I wonder is it because men might be more inclined to remarry following divorce whereas women might be less likely to, due to women's perceived role as the primary care-givers of the children from the marriage.

More women than men were divorced or separated.

There were 88,918 separated and divorced men in 2011, but there were 115,046 women.
 

rant_and_rave

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 7, 2009
Messages
3,105
The costs of marriage counseling are significant - between €75 and €150 Euro per session which usually lasts an hour. Is this a waste of money?
 

Aindriu

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2007
Messages
8,702
It can only work if both partners want it to work. Very often one partner does not want the marriage to continue no matter what the other is prepared to do to help it continue.
 

gerhard dengler

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2011
Messages
47,554
Have you had relationship problems? Did marriage counseling save your marriage or did it make it worse?

There are now around 200,000 divorced people in this country - Increase in number of divorced people - Census - RT News

That's a massive increase of 22.3% over last five years. This would indicate that marriage counseling is not very effective. In fact there are those who think marriage counseling does more harm than good.

Till talk us do part - theage.com.au
Marriage counselling makes people think their relationship is over - Telegraph

What do you think?
You're making the assumption that those who did experience marital problems sought counselling.

I'm happily married. Or so my wife tells me petunia
 

mary_queen_of_the_gael

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 14, 2012
Messages
3,189
Interesting, a massive, growing problem (the divorce industry) and all it can elicit is a few puerile cracks.
I would imagine many of these counselors are nincompoops. Further, with many of the couples getting counselling, at least one side of the couple would be in denial regarding their culpability, much as pedophiles and alcoholics are very slow to admit their perfidies.

When someone gets murdered (welcome to modern Ireland), the gardai/PSNI look to the immediate relatives/ "partners" to uncover the miscreant. It is an awful way for a relationship to end up, often even going so far as to off the children too.

If time could be reversed, better pre-marriage counselling would help. But in this throwaway society, it might be too late for that.

Counselling could work if both parties wanted it to work. But then where would the divorce industry and the mistress be?
 

ShoutingIsLeadership

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2011
Messages
50,459
rant and rave, if you are having trouble with your marriage (I am not suggesting you are), perhaps you could set up a private p.ie group and invite people to join. That way, people might feel more comfortable talking about their experiences because the general public, and general p.ie membership, won't be able to read it.

Just a thought.
 

Mr. Bumble

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2010
Messages
18,254
Interesting, a massive, growing problem (the divorce industry) and all it can elicit is a few puerile cracks.
I would imagine many of these counselors are nincompoops. Further, with many of the couples getting counselling, at least one side of the couple would be in denial regarding their culpability, much as pedophiles and alcoholics are very slow to admit their perfidies.

When someone gets murdered (welcome to modern Ireland), the gardai/PSNI look to the immediate relatives/ "partners" to uncover the miscreant. It is an awful way for a relationship to end up, often even going so far as to off the children too.

If time could be reversed, better pre-marriage counselling would help. But in this throwaway society, it might be too late for that.

Counselling could work if both parties wanted it to work. But then where would the divorce industry and the mistress be?
Strange.
 

truthisfree

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
6,252
One interesting statistic from the census relating to marital status is that there are a lot more separated or divorced women than men, one would have thought that the numbers have been fairly similar, I wonder is it because men might be more inclined to remarry following divorce whereas women might be less likely to, due to women's perceived role as the primary care-givers of the children from the marriage.
There were 88,918 separated and divorced men in 2011, but there were 115,046 women.
That is interesting and I think your suggestion that less women re-marry is possibly the only explanation. Are separated women with children undesirable to men?
 
Top