Medals for Consumers

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,030
Twitter
No
Even dogs can be awarded a medal. One can hardly emerge from one's teens these days without being 'awarded' for something or other, as the Americans are wont to say.

So if you can get a medal for doing something you've basically been trained to do or were going to do anyway one way or t'other should there not be medals for conspicuous consumption?

Consumer confidence is promoted as a good thing even though it is code for people getting in over their heads in credit card debt.

Getting on the mortgage ladder is almost seen as some kind of patriotic duty, at least according to the Irish Times property supplement, a sort of rip-off Gazette of aspiration.

Each week there should be a column in a newspaper of record detailing conspicuous consumer gallantry in the face of overwhelming common sense. A Distinguished Service Medal for the lad that wakes up with a strange greyhound he never saw before sitting there in the bedroom looking at him and only a vague memory of having gone out for a pint or two with the local trainer and flashbacks to a contract being signed on a bar napkin and witnessed by the landlord followed by a drunken call to the bank manager among pats for next year's Cup Winner having a sh1t in the corner.

Mrs Lacey of Victoria Cross to get the posthumous Victoria Retail Cross having died wedged in the doorway of the shopping centre in an effort to prevent it closing, her arm waving back and forth weakly with a loyalty card pinned to her sleeve.

We could have a Presidential Honours List for all those who perished in a welter of christmas decorations and a creeping barrage of bills.

The Tomb of the Unknown Customer could be lit up with a backlit credit-card in Phoenix Park.
 


GDPR

1
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Messages
217,782
This is what happens when you lever yourself into the middle classes, Lumpy.

Those of us who were born to it always knew a fool and his money are soon parted. :)
 

derryman

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 17, 2011
Messages
10,622
This is what happens when you lever yourself into the middle classes, Lumpy.

Those of us who were born to it always knew a fool and his money are soon parted. :)
I began reading your post expecting, " this is what happens when you spend too many hours on p.ie, you begin thinking and writing gibberish".
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,030
Twitter
No
Never in the field of human consumerism has so much been owed by so many to so few. It is just that I have had to spend some time in shops lately even though I managed much of the buying online and had stuff delivered.

I really don't like shops or shopping. Some people like it I am told. I'd be suspicious of them.

It led me to ponder whether the amount of stuff shoppers are buying is actually a measure of economic health in a nation or an indicator of some deep-seated malady. You could look at it both ways.
 

Trainwreck

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2012
Messages
26,416
This is what happens when you lever yourself into the middle classes, Lumpy.

Those of us who were born to it always knew a fool and his money are soon parted. :)
Someone said you are Eddie Hobbs in real life?

Is that true? If so, that comment just made the internet explode.
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,030
Twitter
No
Come to think of it the sound of grime belting from a car has receded somewhat- can't recall the last time I heard that.

The gentle pock, pock of tennis balls from the local lawn tennis club doesn't carry quite the same frisson of menace it has to be said.
 

Burnout

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 7, 2009
Messages
7,153
Twitter
I have a life.
Nothing like choosing from 20 different labelled boxes of the same product.
 

statsman

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 25, 2011
Messages
55,055
Even dogs can be awarded a medal. One can hardly emerge from one's teens these days without being 'awarded' for something or other, as the Americans are wont to say.

So if you can get a medal for doing something you've basically been trained to do or were going to do anyway one way or t'other should there not be medals for conspicuous consumption?

Consumer confidence is promoted as a good thing even though it is code for people getting in over their heads in credit card debt.

Getting on the mortgage ladder is almost seen as some kind of patriotic duty, at least according to the Irish Times property supplement, a sort of rip-off Gazette of aspiration.

Each week there should be a column in a newspaper of record detailing conspicuous consumer gallantry in the face of overwhelming common sense. A Distinguished Service Medal for the lad that wakes up with a strange greyhound he never saw before sitting there in the bedroom looking at him and only a vague memory of having gone out for a pint or two with the local trainer and flashbacks to a contract being signed on a bar napkin and witnessed by the landlord followed by a drunken call to the bank manager among pats for next year's Cup Winner having a sh1t in the corner.

Mrs Lacey of Victoria Cross to get the posthumous Victoria Retail Cross having died wedged in the doorway of the shopping centre in an effort to prevent it closing, her arm waving back and forth weakly with a loyalty card pinned to her sleeve.

We could have a Presidential Honours List for all those who perished in a welter of christmas decorations and a creeping barrage of bills.

The Tomb of the Unknown Customer could be lit up with a backlit credit-card in Phoenix Park.
It's funny how drink takes some people.
 

blokesbloke

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2011
Messages
22,697
Ah, but I assume to claim my medal I would need to call a premium-rate phone number, agree to my details being passed to "trusted third party partners" and pay the postage and packaging?
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,030
Twitter
No
Ah, but I assume to claim my medal I would need to call a premium-rate phone number, agree to my details being passed to "trusted third party partners" and pay the postage and packaging?
Yep. Where the postage and packing will be three times what it should be. Having said that your medal will have been at a low, low price so overall you'll be a winner.
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,030
Twitter
No
Perhaps time to remember some of the fallen and forgotten heroes of consumerism. Elvis of course with the fleet of limousines. Michael Jackson for trying to buy the world and give it to people gift by gift.

Even John Lennon and Yoko Ono who famously had an apartment under their apartment in New York just to keep their clothes in.
 

Gin Soaked

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,099
Never in the field of human consumerism has so much been owed by so many to so few.

It led me to ponder whether the amount of stuff shoppers are buying is actually a measure of economic health in a nation or an indicator of some deep-seated malady. You could look at it both ways.
I know people for whom it is a glaring malady. And some who are in denial.

I know people who routinely drop clothes into charity shops with the tags still on them. Utter madness.

Men seem far less affected by this, save for the odd gadget, and, invariably, the tendency to buy waaay more car than they need.

In the big car space, great strides are being made in terms of equality in the Cor Porks of Dublin's posher schools. These resemble a Premium SUV dealership at pick up time.

My wife and I just couldn't bring ourselves to buy something slow, ponderous, terrible to park, thirsty, brutal on tyres.

We are outliers and better off for it.
 

willow68

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 8, 2012
Messages
1,856
Stone cold sober for that one I'm afraid. I'll try not to let it happen again. Sobriety, that is.
Read that in bed at 4am ish..being a bit of an insomniac. Laughed so hard I woke up the other half....I need a phone detox. Thanks Lumpy!
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,030
Twitter
No
I have odd sleep patterns myself. Sometimes nap in the day and then stay up late or else wake up at dawn, enjoy the solitude, breakfast and go back later.

If it wasn't for the demands of work I'd throw the alarm clock system out altogether and just go with whatever.
 


New Threads

Popular Threads

Most Replies

Top