Mwuh-mwah, the Irish Social Scene with Voganta Lynch-Smorgasbord

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,452
Twitter
No
Darlings, there is a fine line between social innuendo and defamation and libel so this column will be mindful of the requirement to steer clear of revealing the utter and customary criminality of the Irish social set. Besides, it demoralises the servants.

With apologies for launching this social column following the fortunes of our better-heeled citizenry and mindful of the need to avoid highlighting the kind of events where one might find poor people we should acknowledge that the season has begun and the Ballymaloe Literary Festival is behind us. The Epsom Derby day seems as good a day as any to set our little boat asail given the social lacuna in Dublin until everyone who is anyone is back.

Upcoming events at which at least some of the great and the good will be seen- or those who maintain some pretence toward the literary at any rate- will be the 'Forbidden Fruit' happening at the Irish Museum of Modern Art between the 3rd and 5th of June. How sweet of the organisers to time this one when everyone is back from Epsom, the darlings.

Recognising that Kilmainham is a location that may be more evocative for the artsy rather than Ireland's wealthy we look forward to a jaunt to Howth for the Midsummer Literary Festival (9th to 11th of June). Gosh. So much reading to do. Or at least popping along to hear authors discussing books which is a really good way to let on that one does spend one's evenings curled around a Colm.


Great Music in Irish Houses between 13th June and 18th June should keep the lower middle class happy with a chance to be permitted to hear music at the National Botanic Gardens, Kilruddery and at something called the Casino at Marino we are unfamiliar with.

Bloomsday naturally comes around and while it is not what it once was now that tourists tend to come along and one strains to hear the readings by university people it is the last event before we head out to the provinces for the cooler breezes and perhaps a chance to spruce up the summer house for entertaining.

We are informed that events are scheduled in Kildare, Cork and Galway. Which is very sporting of them but I fear always carries with it the risk of ordinary people.

Some crusties and bohemians will be fiddling with fish in Bantry and wearing jumpers and that kind of thing and there will be knacker-races later in the month of July at Galway one is informed.

We look ahead of course to the delights of celebrity marriage failures and spectacular fallings-out at picturesque coastal villages where the people are as always a delight in staying away while we Dubliners cavort.

Don't forget to keep Voganta in the loop with any juicy gossip along the way! Should any of the ladies offer another kick in the unmentionables to 'Little Rat' Ronayne please do pass it on.

Mwah-mwuh.
 
Last edited:


Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,452
Twitter
No
Congratulations to Rosanna Davison who celebrated a marathon three year stint of marriage recently with Wes.
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,452
Twitter
No
Dorothy Parker was pretty good it has to be said. 'If all the girls attending the Yale Prom were laid end-to-end I shouldn't be at all surprised'.
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,452
Twitter
No
There is definitely room in the Irish media for an acerbic commentary on the utter f*ckwittery that passes for style these days.

I guess none of the papers will chance it because of the wielding of the libel and defamation stick by the lawyers for the darlings.

The country is hardly short of targets.
 

GDPR

1
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Messages
217,782
Dorothy Parker was pretty good it has to be said. 'If all the girls attending the Yale Prom were laid end-to-end I shouldn't be at all surprised'.
Your OP is oddly reminiscent of The Diary of a New York Lady (During Times of Panic, Frenzy and World Change) as published in 1933 - but even more revolting, if possible. :)
 

JCR

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
6,241
Looks like the sewer that is politics.ie is overflowing again.
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,452
Twitter
No
Your OP is oddly reminiscent of The Diary of a New York Lady (During Times of Panic, Frenzy and World Change) as published in 1933 - but even more revolting, if possible. :)
Oh good. I hadn't read that. There has probably never been a better time for a stiletto to the taken to the social balloon in Ireland. It is a target-rich environment.
 

GDPR

1
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Messages
217,782
Oh good. I hadn't read that. There has probably never been a better time for a stiletto to the taken to the social balloon in Ireland. It is a target-rich environment.
I think its available online - out of print or free of copyright. The airhead in that story is basically a sad case though - Dorothys innate compassion for female victims (including the victims of their own folly and delusion) comes through. Your Voganta is a far more grotesque and despicable creation. You can smell the generations of kicking down and kissing up which went to create her.

Thats the chip of ice in the Irish heart. :)
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,452
Twitter
No
Voganta is indeed a self-made woman. She made Mr Smorgasbord marry her.
 

Zapped(CAPITALISMROTS)

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 7, 2015
Messages
6,493
Twitter
daxxdrake
Rots sez............................

[video=youtube;YpSr1egPSMI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpSr1egPSMI[/video] :rolleyes:
 

Socratus O' Pericles

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
32,922
I presume McWilliams and the wife will be hosting an artistic event of some kind in Dalkey.
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,452
Twitter
No
Nothing I remember from my time in Ireland was more absurd to me than the utter boll0cks that appeared in the Sunday Independent's social pages. Cokehead models pictured with middle aged Nama-monkeys and assorted boyband haircut types.

People actually aspired to be like these fųckįng arsęhølęs.
One's only comfort when the long anticipated Zombie Apocalypse finally arrives is that they will be the first cohorts eaten alive. Probably while trying to plug in a set of hair straighteners. It is the small comforts which makes life worth living.
 

GDPR

1
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Messages
217,782
I can recommend this book, though the Gruan review is a little high-minded and sniffy about it.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2006/oct/14/highereducation.history

Last Curtsy: The End of the Debutantes, about the Social Scene among the Upper Classes in Britain in the 1950s. It has some great chapters about how as the season came to a close, the last throw for girls who were left sitting it out was the remnants of the Anglo-Irish aristocracy. You would have to be desperate and Rose Dugdale was sufficiently so to elope with an IRA-man. petunia
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,452
Twitter
No
Earlier than that was the famous 'Fishing Fleet' when the more troublesome daughters of the aspirant middle classes were chaperoned out to India for a season among the officers of the Raj to see if they could snare a decently senior husband.
 

Lumpy Talbot

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
29,452
Twitter
No
I presume McWilliams and the wife will be hosting an artistic event of some kind in Dalkey.
Probably safe to emerge once more now that the fear of a late night knock on the door from a garlic chewing Minister of State has receded.
 

GDPR

1
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Messages
217,782
Earlier than that was the famous 'Fishing Fleet' when the more troublesome daughters of the aspirant middle classes were chaperoned out to India for a season among the officers of the Raj to see if they could snare a decently senior husband.
Yup = Ford Maddox Fords "The Good Soldier" has the hero "entrapped" while returning from service in India by one of the so-called "Fishing Fleet" who had actually blown it - yet again - on the fabled shore so was heading home in total disgrace.

Agree with TA though that the modern Irish version is like some horrible "mash-up" between the old "Failed in London, Try Dublin" and The Essex Way.

What a mess ...
 


New Threads

Most Replies

Top