We declare the rights of the cowboys on the casino money markets to the ownership of Ireland, and to the unfettered control of Irish destinies, to be sovereign and indefeasible....
The European Central Bank is entitled to, and hereby claims, the allegiance of every Irishman and Irishwoman (henceforth to be known as Euro-drones). The ECB guarantees religious and and civil liberty, equal rights and equal opportunities to all its citizens - but only as long as Euro-drones pay the price for such luxuries via crippling tolls, and declares its resolve to auction off the happiness and prosperity of the whole nation and all of its parts, perishing all the aspirations of the children of the nation equally and indicative of the differences carefully fosterd by a govenment of aliens which has promoted the interests of a tiny minority of speculators over the vast majority of working people in the past....
THE PROVISIONAL GOVERNMENT OF THE IMFISH REPUBLIC TO THE PEOPLE OF IRELAND IMFISHMEN AND IMFISHWOMEN:
IMFISHMEN AND IMFISHWOMEN: In the name of Money and of the generational debt from which we collect, forget your old tradition of nationhood, Ireland, through us; we summon her children to her obligation to repay us for her freedom.
Having wasted and lost her manhood through her openly corrupt organisations, Fianna Fail, and through her complicit coalition partner organisations, the Greens and the Progressive Democrats, having patiently perfected her indiscipline, having resolutely waited for the right moment to reveal itself, she pissed away that moment, and, now will export her children to America and Europe, leaving a bloated public service to strike in full confidence of defeat.
We declare the right of the people of IMF to the ownership of Ireland, and to the unfettered control of Irish destinies, to be not sovereign and indefeasible. The short usation of that right by a domestic people and government has not maintained the right, nor can it ever be maintained except by the repayment of the Irish debt. In every generation the Irish people have asserted their right to fianna fail led governments and took sovereignty for granted; three times during the last 13 years they have asserted it to ballot boxes. Pissing on that fundamental right and now suspending it in the face of the world, we hereby proclaim the IMFISH Republic as a non-Sovereign dependent State, and we pledge your lives and the lives of your children-yet-born to the cause of its debt repayment, of its interest settlement, and of its shame among the nations.
The IMFISH Republic is entitled to, and hereby claims, the allegiance of every Irishman and Irishwoman. The Republic guarantees no liberty, no rights and no opportunities to all its citizens, and declares its resolve to pursue the repayment of debt of the whole nation and all of its parts, utilising all of the children of the nation equally and oblivious of the differences carefully fostered by an incompetant government, which have divided a minority from the majority in the past.
Until our corrective measures have brought the repayment of debt, we will suspend the reestablishment of a permanent National, representative of the whole people of Ireland and elected by the suffrages of all her men and women, the Provisional Government, hereby constituted, will administer the civil and military affairs of the Republic in trust for the people.
We place the cause of the Irish Republic under the protection of the International Monetary Fund. Whose bankroll we invoke upon our debt, and we pray that no one who serves that cause will dishonour it by sympathy, humanity, or compassion. In this supreme hour the IMFISH nation must, by its valour and discipline and by the readiness of its children to sacrifice themselves for the common good, prove itself worthy of the august destiny to which it is called.
Signed on Behalf of the Provisional Government. Ajai Chopper, Some Tall Hungarian and 4 non-descript men.