[Req] The Best Charlie Haughey Quotes (behind closed doors)

DavidDoyle

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Hi All,

This thread is running simultaneously in the politics forum of boards.ie and the history forum of politics.ie (see other at http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthre ... st53255580 )

One of the things that I find most interesting about Haughey are some the brilliant quotes he came out with when he was behind closed doors.

Here’s what I’ve come across to date. If anyone has any others, feel free to share.
(please reference where you got the quote from)

1.CJH went to President Erskine Childers funeral “to make sure the f***er was planted”

2.When an interview conducted by a young female journalist concluded, CJH said “I suppose a ride is out of the question!”. He then felt her up as she walked off.
(Proposition was only a joke as there was a young male photographer present.)

3.While passing a crowd of female sailors on his boat “Celtic Mist”, he shouted out “Are ye’r knickers wet?”


4.CJH talking, in the privacy of this office, to his Press Secretary, Frank Dunlop

CJH: “Where the f*** were you yesterday?”

FD: “Yesterday – Sunday – I was at home in the bosom of my family”

CJH: “We’re making some progress – the f***er knows yesterday was Sunday”.

5.CJH supporter Don Lydon, after being grilled by CJH, was having trouble finding the door out of CJHs wood panelled office. After a few moments, CJH looks up

CJH: “What are you still doing here?”

DL: “I can’t find the door, Taoiseach”

CJH: “Then why don’t you jump out the f***ing window?”

6.CJH’s reaction on reading a Private Eye magazine article linking CJH with the “aging” Terry Keane, in Frank Dunlops presence.

“Jasus, Frank, she’ll go f***in’ banana’s when she reads this”

References

1 Yes Taoiseach, Frank Dunlop, 2005 p ?
2 Haughey’s 40 Years of Controversy, T Ryle Dwyer, 2005 p225
3 Haughey’s 40 Years of Controversy, T Ryle Dwyer, 2005 p225
4 Haughey’s 40 Years of Controversy, T Ryle Dwyer, 2005 p89 (Also in Yes Taoiseach)
5 People Politics and Power, Stephen Collins, p179
6 Haughey’s 40 Years of Controversy, T Ryle Dwyer, 2005 p224 (Also in Yes Taoiseach)
 


A_man_about_a_dog

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Re: [Req] The Best Charlie Haughey Quotes (behind closed doo

DavidDoyle said:
4.CJH talking, in the privacy of this office, to his Press Secretary, Frank Dunlop

CJH: “Where the f*** were you yesterday?”

FD: “Yesterday – Sunday – I was at home in the bosom of my family”

CJH: “We’re making some progress – the f***er knows yesterday was Sunday”.

........

5.CJH supporter Don Lydon, after being grilled by CJH, was having trouble finding the door out of CJHs wood panelled office. After a few moments, CJH looks up

CJH: “What are you still doing here?”

DL: “I can’t find the door, Taoiseach”

CJH: “Then why don’t you jump out the f***ing window?”
Two absolute classics! :lol:
 
9

905

Someone or other collected a book of quotes called 'Talk Nation'. There's some good CJH quotes in there. I can paraphrase a couple: "Deep down I'm quite shallow" and "Who writes the editorials in the Irish Times? They sound like they were written by an old woman in a bath, with the water going cold around her fanny". That's how I always pictured Conor Brady.
 
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Or when his boat sank and he was asked what happened: "I walked on water". This may not have been behind closed doors though.
 

DavidDoyle

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Thanks for all quotes so far. This one was PMed to me.

Liam Lalor used to always meet with the same Iraqi official when on business between Ireland and Iraq. One year Lalor went over and there was a new Iraqi Official. Lalor asked what happened to the old official and he was told that Sadam had him executed. Lalor told that to Haughey. CJ replied:
"By God Lalor, that's what I call a cabinet re-shuffle".
 

Leopold Bloom

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My favourite was when he was at an Irish trade show back in the 60's somewhere in the States and Ben Dunne Snr had as part of his display a collection of brush nylon shirts (I wore one as a boy - horrible things) and Charlie demanded that he hide them away, shouting "This isn't the f*cking Dandelion Market".

Apparently Margaret Heffernan held a grudge against CJH for this humiliation of her father and this is reputed to be one of the reasons she went after him bald-headed at the time of the Ben Jnr controversy.
 

daithimac

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I heard one story that CJH was meeting the boys and girls of the U2 pop group and Bono was looking rather sullen as he was not fond of CJHs policies at the time. Anyway Haughey asked the lads if they knew someone whos name I can't remember and when they said they didn't he leaned in and whispered "Good he'd drink you's under the ****ing table" the lads burst there hole laughing and a photo was taken making them all look like the best of buddies.
 

Boss Croker

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905 said:
Someone or other collected a book of quotes called 'Talk Nation'. There's some good CJH quotes in there. I can paraphrase a couple: "Deep down I'm quite shallow" and "Who writes the editorials in the Irish Times? They sound like they were written by an old woman in a bath, with the water going cold around her fanny". That's how I always pictured Conor Brady.
Haughey may haqve said this, but it waqs originally said by Seán Lemass
 

Boss Croker

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One time a well known female RTE journalist was interviewing him about the EU. She said to him: 'Yes, Taoiseach, I suppose it is important to have a level playing field...'.
Haughey smirked for a minute, looked over her head and said 'It's even more important to have a level ball ...'. Yer woman was so entranced by him that she didn't even notice what he'd said.
 

The Earl of Desmond

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For all the moeny he robbed and the big house etc it seems he couldn't say a sentence without using the f word - you can take the boy out Donnycarney ...... and you can't buy class.
 

DerekOwens

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not a CJ quote but related to him and funny, told by Niall Quinn...

After Ireland's last game in Italia '90, the players are sitting looking rather dejected as you can well imagine. Charlie comes in, tells the lads Ireland is proud of them, etc. etc.

Tony Cascarino turns to Quinn: 'Who the f*ck is he?'
Quinn: 'He's the Taoiseach.'

Andy Townsend asks Cascarino: 'What did he say'
Cascarino: 'I don't know... I think he said he owns a tea shop.'
 

daithimac

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The Earl of Desmond said:
For all the moeny he robbed and the big house etc it seems he couldn't say a sentence without using the f word - you can take the boy out Donnycarney ...... and you can't buy class.
and they say you FGers are a snobby lot with no sense of humor! Why ever for
 

DSCH

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The Earl of Desmond said:
For all the moeny he robbed and the big house etc it seems he couldn't say a sentence without using the f word - you can take the boy out Donnycarney ...... and you can't buy class.
He didn't need to bring fixer Mitchell along to act as an interpreter when he met Tony Gregory!

Haughey was a cynic and like all cynics he gave great quoth.
 

ergo2

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not a CJ quote but related to him and funny, told by Niall Quinn...

After Ireland's last game in Italia '90, the players are sitting looking rather dejected as you can well imagine. Charlie comes in, tells the lads Ireland is proud of them, etc. etc.

Tony Cascarino turns to Quinn: 'Who the f*ck is he?

Andy Townsend asks Cascarino: 'What did he say'
Cascarino: 'I don't know... I think he said he owns a tea shop.'
I doubt that. Wasn't Cas's mother from Mayo?
 


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