School Bulling, the internet and suicide.

Cahal

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I came across an article in the independent today about a girl being bullied in school and online. The Girl has recived hundreds of messages online calling her names and saying she should kill herself, (which she has tried too do) the abuse is off people from around the city (Limerick) not just her own school. This is apparently started over her kissing some other girls ex boyfriend and that girl wanting revenge.

Now kids and teens have always being cruel but after all the recent talk on the dangers of online bulling and the seriousness in which people have being affected by it. I want to know how something like this can go on for so long with out the school or parents finding out and doing something about it

https://www.msn.com/en-ie/news/newsireland/kids-from-all-different-schools-were-calling-her-a-slt-whe-disgusting-irish-mum-of-teen-getting-upwards-of-50-messages-a-day-taunting-her/ar-AAuQK2g
 


Analyzer

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Memo to Dinnymedia - bullying existed for a long time before the internet was invented !!!

The story is very sad, and it does highlight that we have become a very agressive, society.
 

cunnyfunt

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I want to know how something like this can go on for so long with out the school or parents finding out and doing something about it
Because we've created a situation were its a bigger crime for adults (generally those who are not the parents) to tell bold kids off than it is for brats to tell their classmates to kill themselves.
 

Toland

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Memo to Dinnymedia - bullying existed for a long time before the internet was invented !!!

The story is very sad, and it does highlight that we have become a very agressive, society.
We're in a far less aggressive society than we were a generation ago. Thankfully. That's how these shocking stories get into the news these days.
 

gerhard dengler

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Bullying has always happened. It shouldn't happen, but it has always happened.

The opportunity to bully has been extended further courtesy of the internet, social media.
 

making waves

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I want to know how something like this can go on for so long with out the school or parents finding out and doing something about it
Teenagers can be very secretive - by their nature they don't - and don't want to - talk to adults.

And what do you suggest the school or the parents should/could do about it?
 

Ellen Ripley

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Kids are on smartphones at too early an age, and it's a terrible indictment of society when a child as young as 11 commits suicide because of insecurity about her looks.

Can someone insert the 'Y' into 'bullying' in the thread title?
 
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silverharp

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so far with my kids I havnt seen much in the way of bullying, girls can be wagons with their exclusionary sh1t they do and it can be hard to pin down. Otherwise its about communication, reinforcing common sense assertiveness so that your kids aren't pushovers. And don't send them to sh1tty failing schools.
 

Ellen Ripley

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Bullying has always happened. It shouldn't happen, but it has always happened.

The opportunity to bully has been extended further courtesy of the internet, social media.
Yep, sanctuary could always be sought at home, but the internet never goes away.
 

Mushroom

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Dimples 77

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I came across an article in the independent today about a girl being bullied in school and online. The Girl has recived hundreds of messages online calling her names and saying she should kill herself, (which she has tried too do) the abuse is off people from around the city (Limerick) not just her own school. This is apparently started over her kissing some other girls ex boyfriend and that girl wanting revenge.

Now kids and teens have always being cruel but after all the recent talk on the dangers of online bulling and the seriousness in which people have being affected by it. I want to know how something like this can go on for so long with out the school or parents finding out and doing something about it

https://www.msn.com/en-ie/news/newsireland/kids-from-all-different-schools-were-calling-her-a-slt-whe-disgusting-irish-mum-of-teen-getting-upwards-of-50-messages-a-day-taunting-her/ar-AAuQK2g


With respect to schools, they usually don't actually care about dealing practically with bullying - instead they'd rather spend all sorts of money on campaigns, and advertising, and developing policies. They want to be seen to be doing something (anything) relating to the subject so that they can point out all the things that they are doing, and can feel good about themselves.

They are just like politicians - they love to be seen doing something (anything) vaguely relating to a subject, even if what they are doing doesn't actually solve the problem, and in some cases adds to the problem.
 

Cahal

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Teenagers can be very secretive - by their nature they don't - and don't want to - talk to adults.

And what do you suggest the school or the parents should/could do about it?
Well if you read the artical, you would see that the bulling is quite blatant and open, So I would expect the parents to you know parent there child, and the school can do nothing for things that happen outside the school time and building. But your response to the issue is quite telling really.
 

making waves

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Well if you read the artical, you would see that the bulling is quite blatant and open, So I would expect the parents to you know parent there child, and the school can do nothing for things that happen outside the school time and building. But your response to the issue is quite telling really.
You asked why did the parents or the school not know about it - I gave you a possible answer.

I asked you what you think they should/could have done about it - you didn't give me an answer (in fact you didn't make any attempt to give me an answer).
 

making waves

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With respect to schools, they usually don't actually care about dealing practically with bullying - instead they'd rather spend all sorts of money on campaigns, and advertising, and developing policies. They want to be seen to be doing something (anything) relating to the subject so that they can point out all the things that they are doing, and can feel good about themselves.

They are just like politicians - they love to be seen doing something (anything) vaguely relating to a subject, even if what they are doing doesn't actually solve the problem, and in some cases adds to the problem.
This is actually bullsh*t - all schools have a policy for dealing with bullying (and individual cases of bullying) - what do you suggest that they should/could do about it?
 

Cahal

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You asked why did the parents or the school not know about it - I gave you a possible answer.

I asked you what you think they should/could have done about it - you didn't give me an answer (in fact you didn't make any attempt to give me an answer).
Ok the first part, yes you gave a possible answer. And in truth I phrased the question wrong, I felt the artical demonstrated at least that girls mother knew, So I took the assumption that the mother would have spoken to the school if not other parents.

The second part I said parent their child, Meaning that the parents of the teens involved could ground them, have them do choures or volunteer, take their phone, computer tablet ect. Or have a conversation with them asking them why they are picking on the girl, explaining the seriousness of their actions.
The school as you pointed put to another poster will have rules and guidelines to deal with this behaviour already, but I would think suspension from team activities if they are involved, detention maybe or even full suspension from school.
 

EUrJokingMeRight

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This is actually bullsh*t - all schools have a policy for dealing with bullying (and individual cases of bullying) - what do you suggest that they should/could do about it?
Thats the point. They ALL have policies but very few do ANYTHING practical about it with regard to pulling up children who are bullying the schoolmates.

As for grown ups not telling brats off sure that is the way it is but I tell them whats what anyway. Bullies look for the kids/situation that offer the least blowback. you have to ensure that your children are not the targets of these brats although that is difficult to manage.
 

making waves

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Thats the point. They ALL have policies but very few do ANYTHING practical about it with regard to pulling up children who are bullying the schoolmates.
And what evidence do you have that schools don't do 'ANYTHING' practical?

As for grown ups not telling brats off sure that is the way it is but I tell them whats what anyway. Bullies look for the kids/situation that offer the least blowback. you have to ensure that your children are not the targets of these brats although that is difficult to manage.
and this raises the question - what 'practical' things are you suggesting schools should do?
 

making waves

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The school as you pointed put to another poster will have rules and guidelines to deal with this behaviour already, but I would think suspension from team activities if they are involved, detention maybe or even full suspension from school.
And school do implement such sanctions - and take many other measures - when they are aware that bullying is taking place. Furthermore, in most cases schools are not aware of what is happening in the home or wider family environment - because that is often the key factor that is driving the bullying behaviour.
 

Cato

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With respect to schools, they usually don't actually care about dealing practically with bullying - instead they'd rather spend all sorts of money on campaigns, and advertising, and developing policies. They want to be seen to be doing something (anything) relating to the subject so that they can point out all the things that they are doing, and can feel good about themselves.

They are just like politicians - they love to be seen doing something (anything) vaguely relating to a subject, even if what they are doing doesn't actually solve the problem, and in some cases adds to the problem.
This is nonsense. Schools do address bullying but they can only address it in the context of the school. Parents often seek to have schools address bullying between two pupils that occurs outside of the school and the schools cannot do this: they can only address behaviours that occur within the school. Outside of the school context, it is up to parents to parent.

Often issues that parents believe to be bullying are not and that can be a cause of contention between schools and parents. If parents are unhappy with how schools have addressed matters within the school they can appeal to the Ombudsman for Children. Many hundreds do each year but, not one of them has been upheld in the last five years.
 


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