Stupid Quotes From History

JohnnySideburns

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Eirenua said:
What the f**k was that?

Mayor of Hiroshima
“Where did all those f***ing Indians come from?”

General Custer

Joking aside,

“Everything that can be invented, has been invented”

Head of US Office of Patents, 1901 (I think).
 


Kursk

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"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." Mark Twain.

Florida Congresswoman Ginny Brown-Waite sponsored House Resolution 1265: the American Hero's Repatriation Act of 2003. "France has consistently turned its back on the United States... They forget, if it weren't for America, they would be speaking German today."
To provide, upon the request of a qualifying person, for the removal of the remains of any United States servicemember or other person interred in an American Battle Monuments Commission cemetery located in France or Belgium and for the transportation of such remains to a location in the United States for reinterment.

1989 "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." P.J O'Rourke
30 Jan 2003 On Hardball with Chris Matthews, former Deputy Undersecretary for Defense Jed Babbin declares: "Frankly, going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion -- you just leave a lot of useless, noisy baggage behind."
13 Feb 2003 Fred Barnes, executive editor of The Weekly Standard, writes: "It would be one thing if the French said they planned to sit out the war with Iraq. But it's quite another when the French actively try to undermine President Bush and prevent regime change in Iraq, as they're doing now. After all we've done for the French -- saving their butts in World Wars I and II, taking over for them in Vietnam -- this makes them ungrateful in the extreme -- breathtakingly, unprecedentedly, and perhaps even unforgivably, ungrateful."

12 Aug 2004 During an official Bush-Cheney 2004 campaign conference call, Republican Senator Gordon Smith tells reporters: "It's not John Kerry's fault that he looks French. But it is his fault that he wants to pursue policies that have us act like the French. He advocates all kinds of additional socialism at home, appeasement abroad, and what that means is weakness for the future

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." -- bogus quote, attributed to General George S. Patton
"Hank, we are fighting a war here called 'Thanksgiving at the Airport.' Now, we can either stand here and take it like the French, or we can beat the rest of these chumps to the hotel." --- Peggy Hill, King of the Hill

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." -- Regis Philbin

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." --- suspicious quote attributed to John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." --- Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" -- Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." -- David Letterman
 

Leftfemme22

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'They couldn't hit a Barn door from ther.......'

Confederate Commanders famous last words before being fatally wounded by a Union marksman.
 

Dasayev

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"It is alarming and also nauseating to see Mr. Gandhi, a seditious middle temple lawyer, now posing as a fakir of a type well known in the east, striding half-naked up the steps of the viceregal palace, while he is still organizing and conducting a defiant campaign of civil disobedience, to parley on equal terms with the representative of the king-emperor."
- Winston Churchill
 

Defeated Romanticist

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"Some people like to be on hospital trollies"

and

"The Irish people have a memory of one month"

Mary Harney
 

Eirenua

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"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears,

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle

If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
- Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

"The world is more like it is now then it ever has before."
- Dwight Eisenhower

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel


"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

This is a classic:"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity."
- Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
 

Fr. Hank Tree

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Odyessus said:
Fr. Hank Tree said:
Eirenua said:
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
What exactly is wrong with this one? Seriously. Human Beings and Fish should be able to co-exist peacefully. Can't we all get along.
How would you like it if a family of herrings moved in next door?
No bother. Invite them over for a "welcome to the neighbourhood" dinner party. :p :lol: :evil:
 

geraghd

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“I see a much more sinister development, the persistent hounding of an honourable man to resign his important position"

Bertie Ahern TD on Ray Burke TD.

"I can confirm that there are no significant overruns projected and no cutbacks whatsoever are being planned, secretly or otherwise."

Mr Charlie McCreevy TD, Minister for Finance, May 2002.
 

geraghd

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Eirenua said:
If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
These are classic! Though I think Rizzo may have been making a point in his one rather than being a gaff..
 

Odyessus

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geraghd said:
“I see a much more sinister development, the persistent hounding of an honourable man to resign his important position"

Bertie Ahern TD on Ray Burke TD.

"I can confirm that there are no significant overruns projected and no cutbacks whatsoever are being planned, secretly or otherwise."

Mr Charlie McCreevy TD, Minister for Finance, May 2002.


What's wrong with that? There were no cutbacks.
 

Odyessus

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Fr. Hank Tree said:
Odyessus said:
[quote="Fr. Hank Tree":1sti5kt3]
Eirenua said:
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
What exactly is wrong with this one? Seriously. Human Beings and Fish should be able to co-exist peacefully. Can't we all get along.
How would you like it if a family of herrings moved in next door?
No bother. Invite them over for a "welcome to the neighbourhood" dinner party. :p :lol: :evil:[/quote:1sti5kt3]




What (or who) is on the menu?
 

caulfield-the-yank

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The ones I remember are mostly from the US. (As these are from memory, some are close paraphrases of the exact quote.)

"I will not turn my back on Alger Hiss."
-- Secy of State Dean Acheson (announcing what would have been a wise precaution, if it had been meant that way)

"I don't want you to think I'm not incoherent."
-- Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley

"My heart is as black as yours."
-- 1969 NYC Mayoral candidate Mario Proccacino (D) to an African-American audience

"... a Party in the tradition of ... Hubert Horatio Hornblower Humphrey..."
-- Pres. Jimmy Carter, misspeaking while accepting renomination of Democratic Party in 1980

"There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe."
-- Pres. Gerald Ford, proving himself a prophet in 1976 during debate with challenger Jimmy Carter

"It depends what the definition of 'is' is."
-- Pres. Bill Clinton

"I don't know, they haven't told me yet."
-- NYC Mayor John P. O'Brien, giving a guilelessly honest answer when asked at his first press conference (1932) whom he would appoint as Police Commissioner

"That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen."
-- Pres. Lyndon B. Johnson (1966 or 1967), upon first seeing his official portrait, expressing the view of many of his fellow Americans

"This is wose than McCarthyism, it's Agnewism."
-- Rep. Bella Abzug, not responding to question about persecution of Jews in the Soviet Union

"I am very disturbed by these rumours."
-- Rep. Bella Abzug, still not quite responding to question about grievances of Soviet Jewry

"Go f*** yourself."
-- Rep. Bella Abzug, responding directly request by Doorkeeper of the House that she remove her hat.
 

cropbeye

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You really are

alonso said:
Bertie was off-topic when he said that. LH moderators should've had a word
You really seem to be to sensitve for this site
 

caulfield-the-yank

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Upon more careful reading of the initial post on this thread, I will offer the following:

"I have seen the future and it works."
-- Not sure, but possibly Vachel Lindsay, upon returning from Soviet Union, mid-1920s.

"Prosperity is just around the corner."
-- Pres. Herbert Hoover, after 1929

"Read my lips: No new taxes."
-- Candidate George H. W. Bush in 1988

"America hates war."
-- Pres. Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1940

"...make the world safe for democracy..."
-- Pres. Woodrow Wilson regarding WWI

"We will bury you."
-- Nikita Krushchev, at UN in 1959 or 1960

[Someone else already posted "The 70s will be socialist" and Richard Nixon's "I am not a crook."]

"It was an actor who shot Abraham Lincoln."
-- Gov. Edmund G. ("Pat") Brown (D-Cal), in 1966, giving Californians the best reason he could come up with why they would never elect an actor as their governor.

"I am behind Senator Eagleton 1000%."
-- Democratic presidential candidate George McGovern in 1972, roughly a week before dumping Eagleton from ticket

"I will never lie to you."
-- Pres. Jimmy Carter

"Fun City"
-- Slogan in John V. Lindsay's successful 1965 campaign for NYC mayor, just before the place went to the dogs for a while

"The End of History"
-- Francis Fukiyama, being just a tad optimistic about the state of the world in 1989 or 1990

"The Greening of America"
-- Charles Reich, looking down the wrong end of the telescope in 1971

"Nothing."
-- Supposedly Louis XVI's diary entry for 14 July 1789
 

Odyessus

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caulfield-the-yank said:
The ones I remember are mostly from the US. (As these are from memory, some are close paraphrases of the exact quote.)

"I will not turn my back on Alger Hiss."
-- Secy of State Dean Acheson (announcing what would have been a wise precaution, if it had been meant that way)

"I don't want you to think I'm not incoherent."
-- Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley

"My heart is as black as yours."
-- 1969 NYC Mayoral candidate Mario Proccacino (D) to an African-American audience

"... a Party in the tradition of ... Hubert Horatio Hornblower Humphrey..."
-- Pres. Jimmy Carter, misspeaking while accepting renomination of Democratic Party in 1980

"There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe."
-- Pres. Gerald Ford, proving himself a prophet in 1976 during debate with challenger Jimmy Carter

"It depends what the definition of 'is' is."
-- Pres. Bill Clinton

"I don't know, they haven't told me yet."
-- NYC Mayor John P. O'Brien, giving a guilelessly honest answer when asked at his first press conference (1932) whom he would appoint as Police Commissioner

"That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen."
-- Pres. Lyndon B. Johnson (1966 or 1967), upon first seeing his official portrait, expressing the view of many of his fellow Americans

"This is wose than McCarthyism, it's Agnewism."
-- Rep. Bella Abzug, not responding to question about persecution of Jews in the Soviet Union

"I am very disturbed by these rumours."
-- Rep. Bella Abzug, still not quite responding to question about grievances of Soviet Jewry

"Go f*** yourself."
-- Rep. Bella Abzug, responding directly request by Doorkeeper of the House that she remove her hat.



"It depends what the definition of 'is' is."
-- Pres. Bill Clinton [/quote]



It made perfect sense to me in the context in which it was said.
 

Odyessus

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12,890
caulfield-the-yank said:
Upon more careful reading of the initial post on this thread, I will offer the following:

"I have seen the future and it works."
-- Not sure, but possibly Vachel Lindsay, upon returning from Soviet Union, mid-1920s.

"Prosperity is just around the corner."
-- Pres. Herbert Hoover, after 1929

"Read my lips: No new taxes."
-- Candidate George H. W. Bush in 1988

"America hates war."
-- Pres. Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1940

"...make the world safe for democracy..."
-- Pres. Woodrow Wilson regarding WWI

"We will bury you."
-- Nikita Krushchev, at UN in 1959 or 1960

[Someone else already posted "The 70s will be socialist" and Richard Nixon's "I am not a crook."]

"It was an actor who shot Abraham Lincoln."
-- Gov. Edmund G. ("Pat") Brown (D-Cal), in 1966, giving Californians the best reason he could come up with why they would never elect an actor as their governor.

"I am behind Senator Eagleton 1000%."
-- Democratic presidential candidate George McGovern in 1972, roughly a week before dumping Eagleton from ticket

"I will never lie to you."
-- Pres. Jimmy Carter

"Fun City"
-- Slogan in John V. Lindsay's successful 1965 campaign for NYC mayor, just before the place went to the dogs for a while

"The End of History"
-- Francis Fukiyama, being just a tad optimistic about the state of the world in 1989 or 1990

"The Greening of America"
-- Charles Reich, looking down the wrong end of the telescope in 1971

"Nothing."
-- Supposedly Louis XVI's diary entry for 14 July 1789


"Go f*** yourself."
-- Rep. Bella Abzug, responding directly request by Doorkeeper of the House that she remove her hat. [/quote]



Imagine a Congressman responding like this to a female doorkeeper who requested him to remove his hat. We would have heard the howls of outrage (quite rightly) across the Atlantic.
 

alonso

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Re: You really are

cropbeye said:
alonso said:
Bertie was off-topic when he said that. LH moderators should've had a word
You really seem to be to sensitve for this site
:| don't get ya there - twas merely a wry observation on the irony in his, and most others, quotes
 

Catalpa

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I believe Brendan Corish at a Labour Party Conference circa 1970 said that while there was talk of Labour and FG forming a Coalition he, as a matter of Principle, would never be part of one with that Party!

Can anyone confirm that - if true it would be an all time classic! :p
 


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