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The 2013 Apprentice UK thread


Sync

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Joined
Aug 27, 2009
Messages
28,765
It's back, the show that makes us question Roubini's assertion that capitalism isn't the worst system. Another bunch of semi-literate megalomaniacs to irritate the bejesus out of us for the next 2 months. I can't wait.

Yes it's a bit repetitive, yes Sralan could have been moved to pasture a couple of seasons ago, but it's golden reality TV where you see awful awful people throw each other under the bus in a scramble to find the least incompetent.

It starts tonight on BBC1 at 9 and the contestants can be seen here: BBC One - The Apprentice

Highlights of their bios include one girl saying as a drawback that she's TOO ambitious, one bloke saying "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are foot prints on the moon" and another saying "I just feel my effortless superiority will take me all the way."

I'm guessing Jason will be an early leaver, he has that pasty skinned look that Sralan hates and I'll stick my neck out for Myles to win it. Key question for tonight is if Jordan is in fact a dwarf in which case I shalln't make fun of him or if he's just very very short in which case I probably will.
 


ShoutingIsLeadership

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2011
Messages
50,434
It's back, the show that makes us question Roubini's assertion that capitalism isn't the worst system. Another bunch of semi-literate megalomaniacs to irritate the bejesus out of us for the next 2 months. I can't wait.

Yes it's a bit repetitive, yes Sralan could have been moved to pasture a couple of seasons ago, but it's golden reality TV where you see awful awful people throw each other under the bus in a scramble to find the least incompetent.

It starts tonight on BBC1 at 9 and the contestants can be seen here: BBC One - The Apprentice

Highlights of their bios include one girl saying as a drawback that she's TOO ambitious, one bloke saying "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are foot prints on the moon" and another saying "I just feel my effortless superiority will take me all the way."

I'm guessing Jason will be an early leaver, he has that pasty skinned look that Sralan hates and I'll stick my neck out for Myles to win it. Key question for tonight is if Jordan is in fact a dwarf in which case I shalln't make fun of him or if he's just very very short in which case I probably will.
That deserves an award.
 

Devil Eire

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2011
Messages
707
It's back, the show that makes us question Roubini's assertion that capitalism isn't the worst system. Another bunch of semi-literate megalomaniacs to irritate the bejesus out of us for the next 2 months. I can't wait.

Yes it's a bit repetitive, yes Sralan could have been moved to pasture a couple of seasons ago, but it's golden reality TV where you see awful awful people throw each other under the bus in a scramble to find the least incompetent.

It starts tonight on BBC1 at 9 and the contestants can be seen here: BBC One - The Apprentice

Highlights of their bios include one girl saying as a drawback that she's TOO ambitious, one bloke saying "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are foot prints on the moon" and another saying "I just feel my effortless superiority will take me all the way."

I'm guessing Jason will be an early leaver, he has that pasty skinned look that Sralan hates and I'll stick my neck out for Myles to win it. Key question for tonight is if Jordan is in fact a dwarf in which case I shalln't make fun of him or if he's just very very short in which case I probably will.
I have visions of ruthless wannabe Irish politicians and semi-literate megalomaniacs throwing each other under a bus (literally) in order to be the next hot young incompetent in the Fianna Fáil party, although such a thing would only give that gang of crooks far more publicity than they deserve.

YOU'RE FFIRED!
 

Sync

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Joined
Aug 27, 2009
Messages
28,765
Is this sort of like a UK version of JobBridge?
Kind of, except with sillier accents and the JobBridge applicants as a rule don't believe their blood can cure cancer.
 

The OD

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Oct 10, 2005
Messages
11,411
Unless they start putting them in pits to fight to the death with slash hooks dipped in sewage I doubt I will watch it.....

Any odds on Sugar having a coronary live on air. There's one man I would gladly renounce pacifism for in order to break his jaw.....
 
Joined
Oct 8, 2011
Messages
40,632
Any programme which can find a reallfife David Brent deserves attention

[video=youtube;xtuz1XprcQA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtuz1XprcQA[/video]
 

Astral Peaks

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Nov 9, 2010
Messages
25,982
Has Sugar gone bankrupt yet like our own Cullen?
That would be a big No.

Nor will he, I'd venture. And he hasn't had three bailouts by the Govt, like our Bill did.
 

Spanner Island

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Feb 22, 2011
Messages
24,199
I'm expecting lots of aerial shots of London from all angles and at all times of the day and night with the Shard featuring prominently...

In fact I'm expecting one of the tasks to start in the Shard at the very least...
 

Astral Peaks

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Joined
Nov 9, 2010
Messages
25,982
I'm expecting lots of aerial shots of London from all angles and at all times of the day and night with the Shard featuring prominently...

In fact I'm expecting one of the tasks to start in the Shard at the very least...
Does Sralan have a financial interest in the Shard though?
 

Malbekh

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Apr 30, 2009
Messages
3,032
So glad the Cullen version was culled
 

Malbekh

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Apr 30, 2009
Messages
3,032
Right:

Alex is a nutter who will do well and impress himself with Sralan. I particularly liked his plastic fantastic manicured look and James Bond pose

Natalie looks pretty but would need to see her in RL. Possibly a hemale. Found her pose oddly reminiscent of T-Rex with useless forearms though without looking remotely threatening

Neil looks like one of the lads and will do reasonably well at the start but will be culled out when we get to the nitty gritty.

Rebecca looks like something out of Madame Tussauds and someone should have told her that beehives have no place in business unless your running a pub in Eastenders. So no.

Sophie is too young and anyone involved in the restaurant profession has no idea how the commercial world works out, as she's so young I reckon she'll be a heartless bitch.

Tim is exactly the kind of person Sralan will hire. Young, enthusiastic, makes lots of mistakes, but if he can learn will go far. One of the favourites IMNSHO. Big issue on the food experience though (see above)

Uzma what a mess. Is this The Apprentice or Big Brother? Not a chance. Not a sausage, may be first to go.

Zeeshaan is your typical Mr Big that really Mr Haven't a Clue when it comes to running a business other than the fake one he pretends to run when no one's looking. May take a few episodes before he gets caught out though. Should be entertaining.

Francesca of the double barrelled name is doomed from the start. Dancing and fake impersonators is not a business plan m'dear, off to the theatre with you. Decent chance of making round two and that's your lot.

Jason. Sralan doesn't take too well to smart toffs, so Jason is either going to have to keep his allegedly exceptional faculties under control, or get chopped. If he can survive to the mid-rounds without butchering too many chances he might have a chance, but it's a slim one.

Jaz. Another double-barrelled surname but one that looks a lot more capable. If she's really a part-time stand up comedian she might have the smarts and wit to survive boardroom culls. I would say one of the favourites. Age may be an issue as in apprentice at 41?

Jordan. Very difficult to judge. His obsession with technology however is a massive advantage against the rest of the apprentice. Sralan hasn't done anything good in technology since the Amstrad 464, so he has a lot of catching up to do. A dark horse.

Kurt. If he's German or German descent he has a chance. Otherwise one of the lads and doomed when the numbers are whittled down.

Leah. Soon to be named Totty. Certainly looks the part if she's a GP or similar doctor and not doctor of *cough* physiotherapy. Why would you abandon a proper job and try your hand at being an apprentice. So either hungry for fame, bonkers or deluded. Possibly all three. Norn Iron accent may grate.

Luisa. Not sure about this one. Age is right, looks like a happy personality but worried about her cupcakes (no pun intended), baking website and electronics businesses. Sounds incompatible and unrealistic. So no. Sorry.

Myles. Probably the winner depending on whether he can keep his ego in check. Is probably smarter than all the apprentices put together. However, there is only one star of the show, so if Sralan feels he getting too big for his boots, then here's another boot for you sunshine, you're fired.

Predictions made on photo and blog only
 

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