The Alternative Xmas Message Thread 2016



Irish-Rationalist

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When did we ever have it, unless of course you live in the US?

Anyway, I don't buy presents for anyone and nobody buys presents for me. I do enjoy the season of course but I don't spend much more than I normally would, I might go out a little more often than usual.

The problem is that most people are idiots who are very easy to influence, the retarded Facebook generation who actively seek out nonsense to consume.

We need a Dr. Evil figure with a space laser now more ever.
I've been saying this for years. Verbatim! (also leaving out the than between more and ever).
 

Telstar 62

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Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel....

They say it's only for the Christmas period......:p
 

publicrealm

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Interesting idea but no time to comment - trying to make sure I don't miss out on the 'best ever' online bargains (only 3 hours til Black Friday)!
 

Irish-Rationalist

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Interesting idea but no time to comment - trying to make sure I don't miss out on the 'best ever' online bargains (only 3 hours til Black Friday)!
Revealingly racist comment. No doubt you, and other keen bargain hunters like you, shall also wishing for a white Christmas.
 

Irish-Rationalist

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At this time of year I enjoy indulging in a spot of seasonal schadenfreude. My nextdoor neighbour has been spending quite a bit of time at home recently, and I'm inclined to surmise that he may have lost his job. Instead of inquiring of his employment status and wishing him consolations if he has confirmed my prejudice, I tend to take a great deal of comfort and satisfaction from the possibility that the fat bastard's progeny may be spending Christmas on a budget. Cos I'm a nice person.
 

vivabrigada

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At this time of year I enjoy indulging in a spot of seasonal schadenfreude. My nextdoor neighbour has been spending quite a bit of time at home recently, and I'm inclined to surmise that he may have lost his job. Instead of inquiring of his employment status and wishing him consolations if he has confirmed my prejudice, I tend to take a great deal of comfort and satisfaction from the possibility that the fat bastard's progeny may be spending Christmas on a budget. Cos I'm a nice person.
Calling someone a fat bastard is very disrespectful, especially at this time of year. The only time it's permissable is during the marching season when the one beating the fuk out a big drum is passing.
Outside of that you are guilty of anti fat bastardism!
 

Irish-Rationalist

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Calling someone a fat bastard is very disrespectful, especially at this time of year. The only time it's permissable is during the marching season when the one beating the fuk out a big drum is passing.
Outside of that you are guilty of anti fat bastardism!
Guilty as charged. He's an East Belfast PUL stereotype. It's all there; morbid obesity, Rangers top, BMW with mag wheels, self righteous, arrogant attitude with entitlement complex. The very type of person I left East Belfast to get away from ...
 

mac tíre

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Guilty as charged. He's an East Belfast PUL stereotype. It's all there; morbid obesity, Rangers top, BMW with mag wheels, self righteous, arrogant attitude with entitlement complex. The very type of person I left East Belfast to get away from ...
Ah, so you moved to Kilkeel?
 

Irish-Rationalist

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Ah, so you moved to Kilkeel?
Not too far away from it, in a 70% Woeman Kafflick town. And me, a wee Pradisan. Sometimes I visit the Asda in Kilkeel to be among my own tribe and hear the Ulster-Scots dialect. It's a completely foreign language.
 

mac tíre

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Not too far away from it, in a 70% Woeman Kafflick town. And me, a wee Pradisan. Sometimes I visit the Asda in Kilkeel to be among my own tribe and hear the Ulster-Scots dialect. It's a completely foreign language.

Kilkeel people have a sort of Ballymena accent, hi.

You'll find they are speaking Fish, not Ulster Scots. That's why you are confused.
 

Irish-Rationalist

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Kilkeel people have a sort of Ballymena accent, hi.

You'll find they are speaking Fish, not Ulster Scots. That's why you are confused.
Ballymena, nail on head. It would seem that wherever the Scots settled in Ulster, their accent is Ballymenaish. I find it very hard to listen to.

Never heard of "fish", other than haddock and cod..
 

mac tíre

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Ballymena, nail on head. It would seem that wherever the Scots settled in Ulster, their accent is Ballymenaish. I find it very hard to listen to.

Never heard of "fish", other than haddock and cod..
Haddock and cod speak...Fish. Goldfish do also but they keep forgetting they speak it.
 

Irish-Rationalist

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Okay. (what?)
 

Ramon Mercadar

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Santa vs Jesus board game 'blasphemous'
3 December 2016



A Christmas-themed board game that pits Jesus against Santa has been described as "offensive, shocking and blasphemous".

Santa vs Jesus, made by London company Komo Games, is played by two teams - one for each of the festive figures - who battle through challenges in an attempt to win the most "believers".

It was funded via crowd-sourcing site Kickstarter which said it was the "most complained about game in history".

But fans have called it "good fun".

Danny Webster, spokesperson for the Evangelical Alliance, says he believes a board game helping people learn about Jesus at Christmas would be "a great innovation" but he has a problem with the Santa vs Jesus game because "it trivialises Christian belief and equates them both as fictional characters.

Santa vs Jesus board game 'blasphemous' - BBC News
 

vinoboy

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Kilkeel people have a sort of Ballymena accent, hi.

You'll find they are speaking Fish, not Ulster Scots. That's why you are confused.
Try Portavogie ,much thicker Ulster Scots than the grouse nesters of Ballymena .
The word night is spoken as nicht.
 

Irish-Rationalist

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Try Portavogie ,much thicker Ulster Scots than the grouse nesters of Ballymena .
The word night is spoken as nicht.
Portavogie is a place apart. A fisherman's netherworld of all manner of mysterious goings on. It's been rumoured that people have left from Portaferry for Ballyhalbert, and passed through the Port of Vogie never to return. It's like an Ards Peninsula Bermuda Triangle, only without Bermuda and the triangle. At night all the children of the town gather in a circle and howl at the moon .....

......okay, I'll get me coat .......
 

Enigma Variations

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Not too far away from it, in a 70% Woeman Kafflick town. And me, a wee Pradisan. Sometimes I visit the Asda in Kilkeel to be among my own tribe and hear the Ulster-Scots dialect. It's a completely foreign language.
Newcastle-upon-Shimna, I presume.......................

(I had to use Google maps to find the river's name.:)
 


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