The Fort William FC Thread

Wascurito

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A friend of mine has been following for some time the fortunes of a Scottish Highland league team called Fort William. It's not due to any connection to the town in question. It's more out of sympathy and a perhaps some affection for a team that is so bad, one only admire their fortitude in turning out every week to be routinely thumped by opponents.

And I mean THUMPED. Today, they lost 12-0. That's the second time in a few weeks that they conceded 12 goals. In fairness, they normally only concede 5 or 6 goals per game and do occasionally score some. However, they routinely end the season on the bottom, many points adrift from even second last place. This season looks set to be the worst one ever with 4 points from 4 draws and and a goal difference of -144.

Quite why they're so bad is a mystery unto me. Fort William isn't a tiny wee village with a church, pub and post office. It has a population of 10,000 and is one of the largest towns in the Highlands. Yet they're regularly walloped by teams from places with far smaller populations.

Anyway, whether you're a player or a fan, next time your team is going through a dark patch, just think of Fort William FC.
 


Northsideman

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Your friend needs treatment, tell him to seek urgent help.
 

Lumpy Talbot

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I've had a Scottish team to follow for some time- the 'Blue Brazil' otherwise known as Cowdenbeath FC.

Lost 1-0 away to Berwick today. 10th in Scottish League Division II. My perfect game of football is a European Champions League Final between Chelsea and the Blue Brazil. In my head I call it 'the game in which I cannot lose'.

'On Yonder hill,
there is a coo,
on yonder hill there is a coo..'
 

cricket

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A friend of mine has been following for some time the fortunes of a Scottish Highland league team called Fort William. It's not due to any connection to the town in question. It's more out of sympathy and a perhaps some affection for a team that is so bad, one only admire their fortitude in turning out every week to be routinely thumped by opponents.

And I mean THUMPED. Today, they lost 12-0. That's the second time in a few weeks that they conceded 12 goals. In fairness, they normally only concede 5 or 6 goals per game and do occasionally score some. However, they routinely end the season on the bottom, many points adrift from even second last place. This season looks set to be the worst one ever with 4 points from 4 draws and and a goal difference of -144.

Quite why they're so bad is a mystery unto me. Fort William isn't a tiny wee village with a church, pub and post office. It has a population of 10,000 and is one of the largest towns in the Highlands. Yet they're regularly walloped by teams from places with far smaller populations.

Anyway, whether you're a player or a fan, next time your team is going through a dark patch, just think of Fort William FC.
Does this mean there's hope for Athlone Town yet ?
 

Lumpy Talbot

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The Paatelainan brothers managed and played for the Blue Brazil in the glory days I'll have yiz all know.
 

The Rahenyite

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Speaking of Scottish football teams I've always loved the name 'Stenhousemuir'.
 

John Scotus

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A friend of mine has been following for some time the fortunes of a Scottish Highland league team called Fort William. It's not due to any connection to the town in question. It's more out of sympathy and a perhaps some affection for a team that is so bad, one only admire their fortitude in turning out every week to be routinely thumped by opponents.

And I mean THUMPED. Today, they lost 12-0. That's the second time in a few weeks that they conceded 12 goals. In fairness, they normally only concede 5 or 6 goals per game and do occasionally score some. However, they routinely end the season on the bottom, many points adrift from even second last place. This season looks set to be the worst one ever with 4 points from 4 draws and and a goal difference of -144.

Quite why they're so bad is a mystery unto me. Fort William isn't a tiny wee village with a church, pub and post office. It has a population of 10,000 and is one of the largest towns in the Highlands. Yet they're regularly walloped by teams from places with far smaller populations.

Anyway, whether you're a player or a fan, next time your team is going through a dark patch, just think of Fort William FC.
Is that not shinty country?

Might this woeful football team be a Scottish version of the Killkenny effort at Gaelic football?
 

FOURGREENFIELDS

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Buckie Thistle! Now there's a name. Scottish junior football is very brutal, very physical. Fort William is a nice town, always a bit of craic in it. Do they still have the piped bands marching through the streets at night?
 

Wascurito

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Is that not shinty country?

Might this woeful football team be a Scottish version of the Killkenny effort at Gaelic football?
It might be shinty country. I don't know the Highlands at all. I've been to Scotland a few times but never north of the Glasgow-Edinburgh line.
 

John Scotus

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It might be shinty country. I don't know the Highlands at all. I've been to Scotland a few times but never north of the Glasgow-Edinburgh line.
I know the Highlands well.

I think they (The Fort) have more than a few Cammanachd cups under their belt

It's shinty country
 

Socratus O' Pericles

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Speaking of Scottish football teams I've always loved the name 'Stenhousemuir'.
I’ve followed them for years, couldn’t be arsed with the knee cappers:

[video=youtube;qTWrbmIbJZ8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTWrbmIbJZ8[/video]

Stenhousemuir..great sporting team.
 

CatullusV

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Was it Billy Connolly who said that vistors to Arbroath were always shocked to see that it wasn't called "Arbroath Nil"?

I dimly remember an interview with the goalie of a team who had been beaten 22-0 in an early round of the FA cup. He was still furious as he was convinced that the 17th goal was offside.

It's quite fun to watch small clubs and even pub sides play soccer. There tend to be all sorts (and body types) on the field. You'll invariably see a couple of older players who rely on their reading of the game and on good execution of the basics to run the game. You'll also get the younger players trying to be fancy. I once played for a business houses team over a period of years. I was slotted into goal, and over the years the older heads tended to drift back to become defenders. It was a joy to see them parlay all of their experience into a strategy whereby the relied in getting into the right place before their speedier opponents.

The internal dynamics in an amateur soccer team are quite intricate. I remember once making a reflex save which drew gasps from the opposition. In the bar after the match, my captain (and full-back) approached. I expected some congratulations. Instead, he lambasted me. "WTF were you doing there in the first place?", he asked me - before buying me a pint.

I'll always stop for a while if I see a match taking place in the park. I'll cover the kids' ears, though!
 

Bill E Bunter

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I always loved playing soccer. Still kickabout on a Wednesday night astroturf with a bunch of lads aged from 42 upwards. I'm at the top end of the age scale too. But hard to beat a "real" game on a full pitch no matter what the level.
I was a very ordinary right full who moved to centre back as I got older, slower and heavier!
But when working in Dublin played loads of games in internal business tournaments and was always put in goal on account of being the "culchie who played gah"! It was a bit of craic being in goal too. I might have missed my calling!
 

CatullusV

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I always loved playing soccer. Still kickabout on a Wednesday night astroturf with a bunch of lads aged from 42 upwards. I'm at the top end of the age scale too. But hard to beat a "real" game on a full pitch no matter what the level.
I was a very ordinary right full who moved to centre back as I got older, slower and heavier!
But when working in Dublin played loads of games in internal business tournaments and was always put in goal on account of being the "culchie who played gah"! It was a bit of craic being in goal too. I might have missed my calling!
Arthur Conan Doyle, through Sherlock Holmes, opined that amateur sport was one of the great institutions in society. The root of the word "amateur" is, of course, the Latin word "amo", meaning "I love". I've seen over many decades many players and organisers demonstrationg that love for a sport in the most practical ways: coaching young players; pulling on the Marigolds and getting their arm around the S-bend unblocking a stubborn loo; cutting grass and marking pitches.

There is an army of them out there. Their value to the community is very often underrated.
 

automaticforthepeople

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If you've ever been to Fort William you'll understand why they aren't too good at the old footie.
The place is surrounded by mountains, you can hardly put a pitch down on the ground as it's not flat.

By the way their back four are brutal and the midfield is no better. The forwards couldn't kick snow of the mountains, not even near by Ben Nevis.
 

Glenshane4

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I know the Highlands well.

I think they (The Fort) have more than a few Cammanachd cups under their belt

It's shinty country
I once attended a shinty final in Fort William. Kingussie hammered Newtownmore. Probably in June 1997.

P.S. In Scottish Gaelic, Fort William is called "Garrison." I am a mine of totally useless information.
 

Round tower

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Speaking of Scottish football teams I've always loved the name 'Stenhousemuir'.
A team that plays in the Mayo junior league is called Ballyvary Blue Bombers

Also their was a club who played for years called Hollister FC, nothing to do these day with the manufacturing company, they for a couple of seasons, played 25 + games , won - 0, drew - 0, conceded 150/200 goals, scored not more thna 20 goals. In the present season and last season they have changed tstyle, unlucky not to get promotion and unbeaten this season so far.
 

crossman

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Was it Billy Connolly who said that vistors to Arbroath were always shocked to see that it wasn't called "Arbroath Nil"?

I dimly remember an interview with the goalie of a team who had been beaten 22-0 in an early round of the FA cup. He was still furious as he was convinced that the 17th goal was offside.

It's quite fun to watch small clubs and even pub sides play soccer. There tend to be all sorts (and body types) on the field. You'll invariably see a couple of older players who rely on their reading of the game and on good execution of the basics to run the game. You'll also get the younger players trying to be fancy. I once played for a business houses team over a period of years. I was slotted into goal, and over the years the older heads tended to drift back to become defenders. It was a joy to see them parlay all of their experience into a strategy whereby the relied in getting into the right place before their speedier opponents.

The internal dynamics in an amateur soccer team are quite intricate. I remember once making a reflex save which drew gasps from the opposition. In the bar after the match, my captain (and full-back) approached. I expected some congratulations. Instead, he lambasted me. "WTF were you doing there in the first place?", he asked me - before buying me a pint.

I'll always stop for a while if I see a match taking place in the park. I'll cover the kids' ears, though!
I remember playing in a summer league against a side who persuaded a professional home on holidays to play for them. He didn't dare get injured so he just strolled around at the back but still completely dominated with interceptions and accurate passes. It was an education.
 


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