The hypocrisy of our attitude to domestic violence

Reasunach

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I was watching Room to Improve last night, yeah I know, but it was a Sunday evening... Anyway, the couple featured seemed to be very happy together but at one point during a bit of banter, the small petite woman put her hands around her taller husband's neck in a mock strangle. Everyone laughed. If the tables were turned, and the man had put his hands around the neck of the woman, I can guarantee that Twitter would have been awash wih condemnations. It put me in mind of a man I knew years ago who was also much taller than his wife, but used to say she was "6 foot 6 with a poker in her hand".

Why is a woman throttling a man considered acceptable to broadcast, when the opposite is not?
 


Trainwreck

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I was watching Room to Improve last night, yeah I know, but it was a Sunday evening... Anyway, the couple featured seemed to be very happy together but at one point during a bit of banter, the small petite woman put her hands around her taller husband's neck in a mock strangle. Everyone laughed. If the tables were turned, and the man had put his hands around the neck of the woman, I can guarantee that Twitter would have been awash wih condemnations. It put me in mind of a man I knew years ago who was also much taller than his wife, but used to say she was "6 foot 6 with a poker in her hand".

Why is a woman throttling a man considered acceptable to broadcast, when the opposite is not?
Because Patriarchy, you misogynist.
 

Betson

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Did not see the show but the OP sounds like much a do about nothing.

It sounds like they just having a laugh. I have no doubt the usual outraged busy bodies would be on twitter etc etc if it were the other way around, probably the usual daily outraged statement from from the women's council etc , but these are people who are intent to take the joy and good humor out of life , the answer is not to be like them.

From what you describe it was harmless banter, and should be treated like that as is should if it was the other way around.
 

Vega1447

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I was watching Room to Improve last night, yeah I know, but it was a Sunday evening... Anyway, the couple featured seemed to be very happy together but at one point during a bit of banter, the small petite woman put her hands around her taller husband's neck in a mock strangle. Everyone laughed. If the tables were turned, and the man had put his hands around the neck of the woman, I can guarantee that Twitter would have been awash wih condemnations. It put me in mind of a man I knew years ago who was also much taller than his wife, but used to say she was "6 foot 6 with a poker in her hand".

Why is a woman throttling a man considered acceptable to broadcast, when the opposite is not?
Because given her "small petite" size/frame the gesture was clearly comedic & not threatening. Duh.
 

Sheeple_Waker

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You said it yourself, a bit of banter. Abusers are manipulative and will generally hide their true behaviour in public and play the affectionate spouse. In any case people tend to have a bit of an ambiguous approach to DV; sure everyone's against it in theory, but revelations that certain public figures are abusers hasn't hurt their legacy, thinking of the example of George Best here. As an aside I think DV has a statistically significant presence in lesbian relationships so far from a male only problem.
 

enuffisenuff

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I was watching Room to Improve last night, yeah I know, but it was a Sunday evening... Anyway, the couple featured seemed to be very happy together but at one point during a bit of banter, the small petite woman put her hands around her taller husband's neck in a mock strangle. Everyone laughed. If the tables were turned, and the man had put his hands around the neck of the woman, I can guarantee that Twitter would have been awash wih condemnations. It put me in mind of a man I knew years ago who was also much taller than his wife, but used to say she was "6 foot 6 with a poker in her hand".

Why is a woman throttling a man considered acceptable to broadcast, when the opposite is not?
because it was light hearted banter and they were playing to the camera?
 

Notachipanoaktree

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I was watching Room to Improve last night, yeah I know, but it was a Sunday evening... Anyway, the couple featured seemed to be very happy together but at one point during a bit of banter, the small petite woman put her hands around her taller husband's neck in a mock strangle. Everyone laughed. If the tables were turned, and the man had put his hands around the neck of the woman, I can guarantee that Twitter would have been awash with condemnations. It put me in mind of a man I knew years ago who was also much taller than his wife, but used to say she was "6 foot 6 with a poker in her hand".

Why is a woman throttling a man considered acceptable to broadcast, when the opposite is not?
It is unfortunate that you have to reference such a minor incident which makes you become a part of the problem and not in any way a part of the solutions.

Fact is simple bullying, simple pushing and shoving and simple abuse is a part and parcel at some stage of married life and indeed any prolonged close contact. It just happens and in itself is harmless. When the other finally gets fed up and strikes back it becomes serious and worthy of intervention. The initial, simple bullying, simple pushing and shoving and simple abuse, is almost exclusively the preserve of women. The escalation which sometimes follows is also, almost exclusively, the preserve of women, followed by feminists and the lawyers making lots of money by promising solutions. The cost quickly becomes far worse than the cure.

If the initial incitements were taken into account in the family law courts the message would soon get round and women would not think it their right to simply (push, shove, slap, bully, and abuse), without consequences.

But thanks to Shatter. no simple cure is possible.
 
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Clanrickard

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Zoo
 

Reasunach

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It is unfortunate that you have to reference such a minor incident which makes you become a part of the problem and not in any way a part of the solutions.

Fact is simple bullying, simple pushing and shoving and simple abuse is a part and parcel at some stage of married life and indeed any prolonged close contact. It just happens and in itself is harmless. When the other finally gets fed up and strikes back it becomes serious and worthy of intervention. The initial, simple bullying, simple pushing and shoving and simple abuse, is almost exclusively the preserve of women. The escalation which sometimes follows is also, almost exclusively, the preserve of women, followed by feminists and the lawyers making lots of money by promising solutions. The cost quickly becomes far worse than the cure.

If the initial incitements were taken into account in the family law courts the message would soon get round and women would not think it their right to simply (push, shove, slap, bully, and abuse), without consequences.

But thanks to Shatter. no simple cure is possible.
I agree, most of the simple pushing shoving etc is normal banter behaviour. A bit like how you know who your best friend is - the one who insults you to your face the most. My point was, that if it had been the other way around ie him throttling her albeit in jest, I'm sure that there would have been a reaction fromt he susual suspects - or it may have been cut from the filming entirely. Seems hypocritical to me, but then I believe in equality between the sexes.
 

Watcher2

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I was watching Room to Improve last night, yeah I know, but it was a Sunday evening... Anyway, the couple featured seemed to be very happy together but at one point during a bit of banter, the small petite woman put her hands around her taller husband's neck in a mock strangle. Everyone laughed. If the tables were turned, and the man had put his hands around the neck of the woman, I can guarantee that Twitter would have been awash wih condemnations. It put me in mind of a man I knew years ago who was also much taller than his wife, but used to say she was "6 foot 6 with a poker in her hand".

Why is a woman throttling a man considered acceptable to broadcast, when the opposite is not?
Oh well, as long as some internet based banter platform gets washed with condemnation its fine. Thanks for keeping up your end of the "bargain".

No matter what happens, someone, somewhere will be outraged and offended on behalf of someone else.
 

Notachipanoaktree

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Oh well, as long as some internet based banter platform gets washed with condemnation its fine. Thanks for keeping up your end of the "bargain".

No matter what happens, someone, somewhere will be outraged and offended on behalf of someone else.
Try again. Can do better.

Even some young women think it perfectly ok to simply (push, shove, slap, bully, and abuse) their male and indeed female friends.

Certainly some women posters on P.ie are very quick to start simply abusing and are outraged when they get it back in spades. Grow up girls, if you don't like being abused then don't start it. This is a place where it is completely acceptable for men to reply in kind with no consequences.
 
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Roisin3

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I was watching Room to Improve last night, yeah I know, but it was a Sunday evening... Anyway, the couple featured seemed to be very happy together but at one point during a bit of banter, the small petite woman put her hands around her taller husband's neck in a mock strangle. Everyone laughed. If the tables were turned, and the man had put his hands around the neck of the woman, I can guarantee that Twitter would have been awash wih condemnations. It put me in mind of a man I knew years ago who was also much taller than his wife, but used to say she was "6 foot 6 with a poker in her hand".

Why is a woman throttling a man considered acceptable to broadcast, when the opposite is not?

Damn I missed that. Too busy watching one of those crime shows on CBS Reality channel myself.

Convicted kidnapper mocks 25-year sentence as 'cakewalk' - NY Daily News

Anyone else see it last night, the beating Denetria Council received from her partner?
 

Watcher2

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Try again. Can do better.

Even young women think it perfectly ok to simply (push, shove, slap, bully, and abuse) their male friends.

Certainly some women posters on P.ie are very quick to start simply abusing and are outraged when they get it back in spades. Grow up girls, if you don't like being abused then don't start it. This is a place where it is completely acceptable for men to reply in kind with no consequences.
The simple fact of the matter is "offence" is everywhere. People get offended very easily these days,. I heard on the radio this morning that pregnant women are not to be described as "expectant mothers" anymore for fear of them....or someone.....being offended. They also talked about "assigned genders" or some such boloxology instead of men or women. Total horsesh1t.

No one deserves to be physically abused and the laws should apply equally if some one is abused, be they male or female, by a member of the opposite sex or the same sex. But from the OP it sounds like there was merely a bit of jesting going on but felt the needs to be offended anyway.
 

Notachipanoaktree

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Damn I missed that. Too busy watching one of those crime shows on CBS Reality channel myself.

Convicted kidnapper mocks 25-year sentence as 'cakewalk' - NY Daily News

Anyone else see it last night, the beating Denetria Council received from her partner?
Katherine Mary Knight (born 24 October 1955) is the first Australian woman to be sentenced to life imprisonment without parole. She was convicted of the murder of her partner, John Price, in October 2001, ... Stir her up the wrong way or do the wrong thing and you're ************************************, don't ever think of playing up on her [cheating on ...
 

Roisin3

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Katherine Mary Knight (born 24 October 1955) is the first Australian woman to be sentenced to life imprisonment without parole. She was convicted of the murder of her partner, John Price, in October 2001, ... Stir her up the wrong way or do the wrong thing and you're ************************************, don't ever think of playing up on her [cheating on ...
As usual you missed the point.
 

Notachipanoaktree

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The simple fact of the matter is "offence" is everywhere. People get offended very easily these days,. I heard on the radio this morning that pregnant women are not to be described as "expectant mothers" anymore for fear of them....or someone.....being offended. They also talked about "assigned genders" or some such boloxology instead of men or women. Total horsesh1t.

No one deserves to be physically abused and the laws should apply equally if some one is abused, be they male or female, by a member of the opposite sex or the same sex. But from the OP it sounds like there was merely a bit of jesting going on but felt the needs to be offended anyway.
Then you agree simple bullying simple shoving, simple slapping, simple pushing, simple abuse is always acceptable, eh? remembering that the other person may just be on the brink of being pissed off with it.

I think not. It needs to stop. It's not funny anymore.

It is in fact real 'bulling' and it is almost exclusively the preserve of women.
 

Notachipanoaktree

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Katherine Mary Knight (born 24 October 1955) is the first Australian woman to be sentenced to life imprisonment without parole. She was convicted of the murder of her partner, John Price, in October 2001, ... Stir her up the wrong way or do the wrong thing and you're ************************************, don't ever think of playing up on her [cheating on ...
No! I believe it was you who missed the point. As usual, eh?
 

Notachipanoaktree

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Any guard will tell you. Even in confrontations between males. If it's not about money then a woman started it
 


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