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What do embassies do?


Crack hoe

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What do Embassies do?
Is it possible that ambassadors produce a quarterly report on trade and commerce opportunities in the countries that they are posted.
It seems to me if this was widely available in a database prehaps it would help exports and trade opportunities.
Maybe this exists but a quick search did not reveal any hits.
 


Analyzer

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.....well some embassies ask Eamon Gilmore what he really thinks about the popular vote, and are able to find out his real opinion, and not just the "public posture" commentary that the Irish people get....
 
D

Dylan2010

try to ignore the fact that the internet, call centres and Fedex were ever invented?
 

Hitch 22

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Ambassadors meet with foreign officials directly face to face.
They also run spy rings and gather intelligence.
The rest of the time they bang local whores ten at a time.
Somebody has to do it.
 

Crack hoe

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try to ignore the fact that the internet, call centres and Fedex were ever invented?
Not at all. in addition to. Boots on the ground and all that. It wouldn't be difficult to do and the cost would be minimal.
 

Crack hoe

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Ambassadors meet with foreign officials directly face to face.
They also run spy rings and gather intelligence.
The rest of the time they bang local whores ten at a time.
Somebody has to do it.
If they done it only 5 at the time, they may have time to produce a trade report. Not a trade in sex workers of course :)
 

Asparagus

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Not at all. in addition to. Boots on the ground and all that. It wouldn't be difficult to do and the cost would be minimal.
They provide a below-the-radar-quango for governments to reward friends and supporters with Ferrero Roche, Dinner Parties and other S************************y lifestyles.

They can also provide consular services to irish people who get in trouble in foreign countries.
often this amounts to a guy in a suit visiting you in jail and confirming that you are screwed and maybe getting a message to your Ma
 

Asparagus

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They provide a below-the-radar-quango for governments to reward friends and supporters with Ferrero Roche, Dinner Parties and other S************************y lifestyles.

They can also provide consular services to irish people who get in trouble in foreign countries.
often this amounts to a guy in a suit visiting you in jail and confirming that you are screwed and maybe getting a message to your Ma
Swan-ky
in case you are wondering
 

Crack hoe

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They provide a below-the-radar-quango for governments to reward friends and supporters with Ferrero Roche, Dinner Parties and other S************************y lifestyles.

They can also provide consular services to irish people who get in trouble in foreign countries.
often this amounts to a guy in a suit visiting you in jail and confirming that you are screwed and maybe getting a message to your Ma
And no doubt they do that, but is there any chance of getting a quarterly trade report from them and make them value for money
 

Crack hoe

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To expand the idea/question further have the embassies a database of the expertise, goods and services that Ireland has to offer and the ability to promote these.
 

Asparagus

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To expand the idea/question further have the embassies a database of the expertise, goods and services that Ireland has to offer and the ability to promote these.
You are assuming that those chocolates just stack themselves as a Pyramid.

Look They are diplomats who probably at best make host to EI or the IDA delegations visiting their country....
Their job is to not offend people...
 

Astral Peaks

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What do Embassies do?
Is it possible that ambassadors produce a quarterly report on trade and commerce opportunities in the countries that they are posted.
It seems to me if this was widely available in a database prehaps it would help exports and trade opportunities.
Maybe this exists but a quick search did not reveal any hits.
Sell Ferrero Rocher? :shock:

What do you think they do?
 

Picasso Republic

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Why do large companies have 'account managers' and 'business development managers'?

Having rubbed shoulders with and required the assistance of the Irish Embassy Team in several countries, I can tell you that the majority work very hard - yes a lot of the job is increasing Irelands profile and attending functions, but that too can become a chore when most of your evenings become work.

Just because someone only drives a car doesnt mean busses have no purpose.
 

Asparagus

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Why do large companies have 'account managers' and 'business development managers'?

Having rubbed shoulders with and required the assistance of the Irish Embassy Team in several countries, I can tell you that the majority work very hard - yes a lot of the job is increasing Irelands profile and attending functions, but that too can become a chore when most of your evenings become work.

Just because someone only drives a car doesnt mean busses have no purpose.
I have no idea what that means but can i borrow that.

Confucious??
 

LamportsEdge

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What do Embassies do?
Is it possible that ambassadors produce a quarterly report on trade and commerce opportunities in the countries that they are posted.
It seems to me if this was widely available in a database prehaps it would help exports and trade opportunities.
Maybe this exists but a quick search did not reveal any hits.
Most embassies of any size and relevance would do just that and monitor imports to that nation from their home country- if only to decide how to get their commercial charge d'affaires to open the right doors at the right time and invite the right people to embassy champers sloshing sessions.

With the exception of the notorious Irish embassy to the vatican which seemed to make a specialty of pouring Irish taxpayer's champers down the throat of utterly disgraced churchmen like Bernard Law in Rome after he fled the US.

That little outpost of the Four Green Fields had permanent foot n'mouth disease. They couldn't get their diplomatic feet out of their mouths.
 

macbar37

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The main requirement for an Irish Ambassador is to have a good long tongue and a nose that doesn't mind the smell of sh*t. Must have a good knowledge of fine wines and where the best whorehouses in town are.
 

LamportsEdge

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The main requirement for an Irish Ambassador is to have a good long tongue and a nose that doesn't mind the smell of sh*t. Must have a good knowledge of fine wines and where the best whorehouses in town are.
Jayze. You can do all that in Dublin. Maybe we should make our Ambassadors work from home. IE a callcentre near Athlone.
 

Crack hoe

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Why do large companies have 'account managers' and 'business development managers'?

Having rubbed shoulders with and required the assistance of the Irish Embassy Team in several countries, I can tell you that the majority work very hard - yes a lot of the job is increasing Irelands profile and attending functions, but that too can become a chore when most of your evenings become work.

Just because someone only drives a car doesnt mean busses have no purpose.
And of that I have doubt. But don't you think they could raise their profile at home to allow SMALL companies to access these markets that they are opening?
 

Roll_On

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Primarily they assist Irish citizens abroad and promote the the Ireland brand in that country. They were well needed and used before communications technology advancements took over their functions.

However I do think they are required in countries that are distant and/or volatile countries/ countries with barbaric 'justice' systems. I don't see what the point of them is within the EU where we already have free trade and travel agreements and you're typically less than €100 away from home with a low fares airline.
 

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