Worst songs & albums of all time

The Rahenyite

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What do you think are the worst songs and albums of all time?

From the songs I've heard I'd pick

Black Lace-Agadoo, 1984. Unbelievably awful, would have been the song to end Frankie's Two Tribes long run at no.1 in the UK had it not been for George Michael's Careless Whisper.

Culture Club-War Song, 1984. Simple instrumentation and rubbish lyrics like 'War war is stupid and people are stupid'

Wham!-I'm Your Man, 1985. So bad it was what inspired Morrissey to write Panic for The Smiths with the lyrics 'Because the music that they constantly play it says nothing to me about my life'

The Beatles Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da, 1968. Paul McCartney could write classics but then he could also write complete some duds like this.

John Legend-All of Me, 2013. Monotonous and annoyingly soppy.

Ed Sheeran-Sing, 2014. Annoying cross over song between pop and rap.

The Ting Tings-That's Not My Name, 2008. A rant not a song.

Baha Men-Who Let The Dogs Out, 2000. Just silly!

Joe Dolce-Shaddap Your Face, 1981. Novelty Italian immigrant song that stopped Ultravox's classic Vienna getting to no.1.

They are the songs I can think of at the moment. I'd throw in most boyband and girlgroup songs and nearly every song by a 20 something autotuned female singer these days that makes me wanna rip my ears off if I happen to come across them flicking through the stations.

Albums

Wings at the Speed of Sound, 1976. So bad I binned it.

Stereophonics-Keep Calm And Carry On, 2009. Not the best album band but this is particularly poor and lacks a hit single.

George Harrison-Living In The Material World, 1973. A disappointment after All Things Must Pass. Probably only 2 or 3 songs of some quality. So bad that I second handed it getting €2 for the €13 I paid for it. On my iTunes anyway so not completely gone.

Duffy-Rockaferry, 2008. As above, traded the two in together.

U2-No Line On The Horizon, 2009. Very poor album by one of my most favourite groups. Some bad songs with really terrible lyrics Get On Your Boots, Fez Being Born, Stand Up Comedy, Breathe, Unknown Caller and I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight. Seriously lacking a hit single, very un-U2, and definitely their worst. October sounds better than this.

Wikipedia has a full article on music considered the worst, tho surprised to see Spandau Ballet-True in there. Surprised as well not to see a Yoko Ono album in there.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_music_considered_the_worst

There's also this survey conducted by Channel 4 back in 2004.
All-Time Top 100 Worst Singles - everyHit.com
 
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Sync

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Swagger Jagger - Cher...someone.
Rockstar - Nickleback.

Both horrible. Both everywhere for an interminable amount of time.

Blurred Lines: You know what's awesome? Date rape. When the singers try the excuse of "Well I didn't write it you know" it's probably bad.

Worst albums I've ever heard straight through: There's a Bob Dylan christmas album which is being used to extract information in a secret base in Afghanistan right now.
 

Gin Soaked

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To ensure we avoid Rebecca Black's "Friday" and other dross, can I suggest that we confine this to otherwise successful or talented artists.

In the same vein, all effluent coming from X-factor style shows needs to be automatically excluded...

Most of John Lennon's post Beatles stuff is contemptible in hubris and pretension.

Ringo Starr's narration of Thomas the tank engine had more integrity.
 

The Rahenyite

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To ensure we avoid Rebecca Black's "Friday" and other dross, can I suggest that we confine this to otherwise successful or talented artists.

In the same vein, all effluent coming from X-factor style shows needs to be automatically excluded...

Most of John Lennon's post Beatles stuff is contemptible in hubris and pretension.

Ringo Starr's narration of Thomas the tank engine had more integrity.
You can if you wish but any dross can be mentioned.

Rebecca Black-Friday can't believe I forgot that one. I can remember when it came out and everybody was talking about it, she even made a music video that had over 100 million views in a month on YouTube, the comments were very negative.
 

redhead

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Joe Dolce-Shaddap Your Face, 1981. Novelty Italian immigrant song that stopped Ultravox's classic Vienna getting to no.1.
Equally brilliant in their own way, and Shaddup Your Face is easier to dance to, if you like polkas.
 

The Rahenyite

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Another example of a good band with an awful album, Oasis-Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants, 2000. You think you're onto a winner with the opening two tracks F----n In The Bushes and Go Let It Out but there's awful rubbish Who Feels Love?, Put Yer Money Where Your Mouth Is, Little James, Sunday Morning Call and I Can See A Liar. I'd say the same about Be Here Now, an album I can't listen as a whole in one sitting tho I think it can have been improved if one or two songs were cut and replaced with b sides from that era like Going Nowhere and Stay Young and also if the album had been edited down from it's ridiculous length as well as cutting the ridiculous guitar over dubbing on some of the songs.
 
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Rural

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Equally brilliant in their own way, and Shaddup Your Face is easier to dance to, if you like polkas.
♬Wassa Matter You HEY?♫ (kicks leg out to the side):)
 

Hewson

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The worst song of all time has to be 'You're Having My Baby' by Paul Anka (appropriately rhymes with w@nka) and Odia Coates. For sheer vomit-inducing, head-reeling awfulness it has no equal . . .

except perhaps Bobby Goldsboro's 'Honey'.

Both songs belong in hell's torture chamber.
 

Socratus O' Pericles

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Paul Anka's Your Having My Baby is the worst song ever committed to vinyl.
 

Lumpy Talbot

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No
That Neil Young effort which was supposed to be a kind of update to 'Harvest'. There was even a song about a dog on it I think.

I really like Bjork. Very often can be found listening to her ouvre while working in the office. Very interesting and creative person.

But I can't stand her song 'The Anchor Song'. Yes to the voice. No to the words and the theme.

It is like a precocious teenager's poetry. Can't be doing with it.

One of the most criminal (and there's a strong suspicion that there was criminal fraud involved) escaped records has to be 'One Day At A Time' by some woman going by the name of 'Gloria'.

It actually broke the Irish charts which had to be suspended. Never mind the fact that it was awful, it ostensibly remained at number one in the Irish pop charts until the chart had to be suspended after two years of this sh1t being number one in single sales in the country which meant at the time thousands had to be buying every week for two years.

Criminal in intent, execution, positioning it was the nearest a pop song has ever come to being redefined as a war-crime.
 

Accidental sock

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Paul Anka's Your Having My Baby is the worst song ever committed to vinyl.
....it was for the people who thought Brotherhood of Man's 'Save all your kisses for me' was too 'street'.
 

Accidental sock

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That Neil Young effort which was supposed to be a kind of update to 'Harvest'. There was even a song about a dog on it I think.
Harvest Moon.....and I kinda liked it. I'll fight any man in da room!
 

Lumpy Talbot

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No
There was some ropey stuff around in the late 70s and early 80s in Ireland which was a kind of Irish showband take on American country and western music. The horror.

Quite cool moments though when some clown in cowboy hat and khaki chinos was stood in front of the bass drum emoting about being a Texas lineman or some other unlikely scenario and the RTE camera from the back of the hall switched to a longshot and with the blending of your man's trousers and the bass drum it looked like he'd sh1t himself.

Great craic.
 

Accidental sock

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worst song for me has always been don mc cleans american pie
Madonna's cover of it was amazing....

,,,wait, no.....not amazing, the other one....

...a festering pool of loose-stool water.

That's better.
 

razorblade

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I remember there was a band called the cheeky girls in the early 2000s god they sure were awful.
 

Lumpy Talbot

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No
Someone once played a recording for me of a Mrs Mills whose husband was very wealthy and hired Carnegie Hall or somewhere equally stupendous and invited le beaux monde to hear the Mrs warble through a selection of opera pieces.

The poor woman was tone deaf. Both she and, apparently the husband, were convinced she was an undiscovered star. It was legendary. You could hear people laughing.

Edit. Mrs Mills was a British oddball who died in 1978 and was quite infamous. Can't remember who the errant American songstress was now.

 

Hewson

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Number 3 on the Eecccchhhh list is a god-awful band killing a god-awful song: The Steve Miller Band's 'Abrakadabra'.

Asinine, stupid, boring, repetitive, meaningless, embarrassing, un-melodic, adolescent drivel responsible for more bad road accidents than black ice.
 

Sync

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except perhaps Bobby Goldsboro's 'Honey'.
.
Honey is an amazing song just because of its success. If it was buried on an album somewhere, it would be fine. But number 1 on the billboard back when that mattered. ‘It’s 1968, You Know what the kids REALLY want to listen to? Maudlin tales of schizophrenia and suicide!”
 


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